Jude D.
Google
We came to Van Ryder specifically for their advertised Galentine’s event, and I have to say, the marketing team deserves a pat on the back, while the kitchen needs an immediate group meeting.
Let’s start with the positives:
The rooftop views are gorgeous. The mocktails were actually great. And our server, Kyle? So attentive and sweet. Zero complaints there.
Now.
We came because Van Ryder heavily advertised a “sweet charcuterie board” for Galentine’s Day. The social media posts showed adorable pink-and-red cookies, fresh chocolate-dipped strawberries, a whole cute, instagrammable and shareable spread. The menu said it feeds 2-3 and was promoted as something to share with your girlfriends.
What arrived at our table for $32 was… performance art at best, and a cruel joke at worst.
Three cookies so stale we genuinely questioned if they were sourced from a Trader Joe’s clearance bin in 2023. But still, we tried. We struggled to physically eat these hockey pucks of desserts.
Mini cupcakes - eh, fine. Though we didn’t finish them.
“Chocolate fudge” that tasted like it had been aged in a crawl space.
And the worst part: the “cheesecake bites,” which were, and I say this with full honesty, balls of rolled cream cheese. Not cheesecake. Not even pretending to be cheesecake. Just straight up globs of cream cheese.
There were also three of everything except the cream cheese balls, so we’re fairly certain one rolled off the plate somewhere en route to our table and it’s just aging away on the floor up there somewhere.
When this hit the table, our friend immediately said, “That’s it?” and we all started laughing because we genuinely thought we were being pranked. The servers (again, not their fault at all) checked with the chef, who apparently said it was “designed for two.” Respectfully, the term “designed” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
If this feeds two, those two people have already eaten dinner. And dessert. And perhaps lost their sense of expectation as well as taste.
It’s frustrating because the event was marketed as a cute, shareable group experience for your gals. What we got felt wildly misrepresented. If the board had matched the advertisement (or if they had taken it off the bill following our conversation, which they did not) we would not be writing this review.
There are so many great spots to eat within walking distance in downtown SLC. If you want the view, absolutely go upstairs, take some photos, enjoy the skyline… and then go somewhere else.
Kyle, you were a star.
Marketing team, stunning work. Wish we got what YOU shared!
Sweet board, please seek help. Or the trash can.