Marc L.
Yelp
Yelp Reviews: Quarantine Edition #19
If this is a typical drive-in experience, I might be Netflix and chillin' all the way through to 2021.
I honestly can't remember the last time I went to a drive-in theater. I vaguely remember going at some point when I was in elementary school, but maybe that's just a false memory from watching a movie that just had a drive-in scene in the film. Regardless, I was filled with trepidation for my first drive-in movie since god knows ever because of one thing:
The Yelp reviews.
There are plenty of complimentary notes, but if you even do a little bit of digging, you'll see the rotten apples (tomatoes?) rise to the top. In particular, what Stephanie J. wrote earlier in August 2020 should give anyone pause. I am certainly no drive-in connoisseur but the prospect of fighting and clawing to get a spot in front of a screen with poor projection and tons of light pollution DOES NOT sound like a great time.
I went on a Saturday night and wouldn't you know, my apprehension turned into a full on self-fulfilling prophecy. Driving in in separate cars, my group was here to watch The 800, a World War II epic set in Shanghai. Stuck in censorship hell by Xi Dada for over a year, the film was finally released this year and was a massive hit in China. When we found out it was getting a limited release Stateside, albeit a drive-in theater in the City of Industry, we came from near and far to witness this much buzzed about cinematic achievement... what could possibly go wrong?
I really should've taken Stephanie J.'s warnings more seriously... it took ALMOST AN HOUR to get from the entrance on Vineland Avenue to the actual ticket kiosk. While The 800 was not the most popular film of the night, with The Tax Collector, Cut Throat City, and Bill & Ted Face the Music playing simultaneously on different screens, there was only ONE ENTRANCE to get into the complex! As I commented to a friend, it felt like we were refugees trying to crowd onto the final boat before the fall of a city. Take into account that you can't buy tickets ahead of time online AND the box office doesn't even open until 7:30 p.m. (only one hour before showtime), it shouldn't be a surprise at all that the evening was going to be quite the ordeal.
Once I finally got to the ticket kiosk, bought my ticket for $10 (bring cash, it's much faster), and booked it to my assigned screen it was just 10 minutes before the movie was about to start. Out of sheer dumb luck I was able to rendezvous with my friends while they were showing trailers and settle in for our feature presentation... only to spend the next 30 minutes squinting at the fuzzy image projected onto the screen. You see, as is true for many Second World War films, much of The 800 takes place at night. That probably should've been part of our calculus when we decided to go to a drive-in to watch this movie, but the recognition of this reality did little to temper our disappointment.
The film, a two and a half hour journey, was pretty good... but the film experience at Vineland Drive-in left MUCH to be desired. The sound, which is played through FM radio dial was just ok (depending on your car I suppose) and if you were wondering about WiFi, don't worry there is none. And if you wanted to hang out with your friends, masked up, in the open air... don't bother. Security roams the property telling people to put away their chairs, coolers, and picnic baskets and get back in their cars.
I know it's important to be safe and follow regulations and all... but c'mon man!
I didn't even get a chance to see what the concession stand or the restrooms were like because the time it would take between waiting in line and the movie starting was so tight. I will say that there are people set up outside the entrance of the drive-in selling hot dogs and water, like at a small town high school football game. That should say it all.
If you absolutely MUST watch a movie on a bigger screen... ugh, just don't do it. At least don't do it here. I appreciate having options like this available during the current crisis, but this is not it son; this ain't the one.
You're really better off ordering takeout and spending some quality time at home with loved ones... that way if you get screwed it'll at least be intentional.