Dat DJ Malik
Google
They not a real Waffle House.
First off, they’ve messed up my food plenty of times. They usually mess it up, so I don’t go to this location unless I’m reeeeeaaaally struggling to stay awake. It’s for like I need food so quick that I can’t go far to get it. And unfortunately, they usually take forever at this location too. But NONE of that is why I’m here today.
Long story short, I’m struggling crazy at first. Like I had to gather my strength to mobilize over there. Had to charge up first and tap into my energy reserves. But anyway, I make it over there. Finally. So now, I’m in the car fighting demons trying to order online. Bro. Tell me why WHILE IM TRYING TO ORDER, this Zack Fox looking waitress comes out to take a smoke break talmbout “ MAN. I hate all these drunk ppl who come here. They just be coming here to sleep in the parking lot because they feel safe.”
Yall dont understand how mad my half conscious self was. It was like the dumb kid in class called me stupid in front of ppl. With that being said, here’s the top 3 reasons Chershire Bridge Waffle House needs to RELAX:
1. This location sucks.
Yall are not on anyone’s list of “good” Waffle Houses. Yall are never anyone’s first choice. It’s so bad when people say “I’m going to Waffle House” WE KNOW they dont mean Cheshire Bridge. Yall are the ugly chick sitting on my car at the end of night when i leave the party trying to comfort me cause I couldn’t bag the chick I actually wanted. How dare y’all even think someone is stunting yall on any level lol. Then you talking bout feeling “safe?” Man aint a safe Waffle House parking lot in America. But some how yall feel yall exceptionally trash location lures ppl. The ONLY reason anyone even goes to Waffle House and lets yall get away with yall craziness is yall food is delicious and yall open. That’s it.
2. Yall are a Waffle House in Atlanta.
Yall can’t afford to be poppin ish fr. Despite yalls lack in quality at this location, there’s a MILLION Waffle Houses per square mile. It’s part of the Georgia Constitution. Signed into law by Jimmy Carter himself. Anyway there’s basically Waffle Houses everywhere. Yall talking like yall have a monopoly and we have to come to this location. I literally took one turn and was at the Buford Highway location in less than a mile. There’s too many options. I didnt even want to come to yall in the first place, I was just being lazy and although yall messed up my food again last time, it was good vibes. But message received. I learned my lesson lol
3. How dare you trade on us like that, Waffle House. Drunk people have been your main customer base since yall showed up. They have elevated you and carried you to the heights you are now. In exchange, we just want good food whenever we’re in need. Sounds so simple. But nope. Another company who hates (who should be) their target demographic. After all we’ve done for you. Yall have the never to complain about customers bringing you money. As empty as it stays looking. Yall just mean and surely ppl. Just chain smoking Newports by the dumpster looking like a scene from the Wire. But look, we already don’t rock with yall but I’ll be sure to let everyone know to continue avoiding this location. Our money isn’t good enough for them. This is a special location where they hand make their ingredients and you need a reservation a month in advance. They use only the finest of Cambodian milk. So it’s my fault for expecting a normal experience.
I dont want to end this on a negative note. Im all about positivity and chasing dreams. With that being said, since Taj Mowery from Smart Guy thinks she’s a comedian, I think she needs to follow her dreams and do standup comedy. To be fair, she isn’t funny so she’s probably gonna fail at that too almost immediately. BUT the point is she’ll be doing something she actually WANTS to do. Plus, she’ll be ruining just HER life and not trying to ruin our days and meals anymore.
I say a win-win for everyone.