Sarah Jane W.
Yelp
A friend and I were roadtripping across the U.S.A. in a 25-foot motorhome with a bag full of mushrooms, and stopped off in Little Rock to say hi to another friend...who took us down here for the night.
We arrived around 10pm, just as the shrooms kicked in: "WOW!! What IS this place??!" In our drug-addled state, the White Water Tavern appeared out of the mist like an old jook joint on the edge of a swamp, with Christmas lights on the roof, bored prostitutes smoking on the porch and weird music emanating from within. SIGN ME UP!!!
Ah, drugs :-)
In reality, this quaint little shack squats unassumingly on a dirt lot in the shadow of a freeway onramp in a shitty part of town, with nothing but hipsters smoking on the porch. Even better! We went in, watched some super adorable scruffy little hipster band, enjoyed about 40 cheap drinks and were having the time of our lives....until my friend's tooth went missing.
You know what they say about Arkansas: "It's all fun and games until someone's veneer falls off, and they put it in a baggie of mushrooms for safekeeping, and the baggie gets stuffed back in someone's bra for extra safekeeping, and then a few drinks later someone else asks if you have any extra mushrooms, and you give them the baggie without thinking, and only four drinks later remember that there was a TOOTH in that baggie and OMG WHERE'S THE TOOTH?? DID YOU EAT MY FRIEND'S TOOTH?!?!?!?"
After much clandestine/frantic searching of bras, pockets and the ground out back with no sign of a tooth, I finally gave up and carried on partying, figuring I would deal with it in the morning. But then -- LO! On the ground under one of the chairs in the main room, a tooth!! I couldn't say for sure that it was my FRIEND'S tooth (you know those Arkansas bar brawls), but it was *A* tooth...and that was better than nothing! I stuffed it into the now-empty baggie, where it was almost immediately so coated in crushed mushroom dust that I figured even the friend it belonged to (who somehow remained blissfully unaware any of this was going on) wouldn't be able to tell if it was the wrong tooth, and jammed the whole sordid mess back in my bra. Whew!!
Because you know what else they say: "It's all fun and games until a traveling Vegas bimbo has to dig through a bunch of Arkansawyers' poop to find a missing tooth."
White Water Tavern, I will DEFINITELY be back!