Walter S.
Yelp
NIOSA falls in my top three Fiesta events easily, hell, it can contend for the top spot on occasion. Allow me to give you the tips of the NIOSA trade so you too can make the most out of your time here.
First things first: how do you describe NIOSA to first timers or out of towners? Simple: NIOSA is basically San Antonio's version of EPCOT (World Showcase). NIOSA is divided into 15 different areas.
Park N Ride: DO IT! Don't argue with me, suck it up, play it safe, pay the $5 round trip each and take advantage of it. You'll not fight with traffic, you'll be dropped off and picked up at the front gates, it's just much better than the alternatives.
Tickets: get them IN ADVANCE. It's faster. It's cheaper. You're gonna thank me in the long run. They're available at HEB, the Fiesta Store, and other places. Tickets at the gate go for $15 while advance tickets are around $12. If you have your ticket(s) already, just go directly to the entrance gate. Don't get in line because everyone else is, don't fall for that, they're buying their admission. Just go to the gate and get in the event. You will also be tempted to wait in the line at the main gate to purchase your food and drink tickets, RESIST THIS TEMPTATION. I promise you there will be plenty of places to get them inside the event with a way shorter line.
The Food: oh my stars and garters, I could write a novel on this, but I'll do my best (no promises) to keep this brief....ish. That being said, I'll highlight my favorite items and where they're located.
Haymarket: home to Maria's Tortillas. My nipples get hard just thinking about this one. True story, my first time I was like "you're joking, we are not waiting in a line for a damn half hour for a tortilla." This was when I was a member of the church of the non-believers. I don't know what they do but they make something as simple as a hand made, corn tortilla, filled with butter, cheese, and salsa into an art form. We go through the line at least twice per trip to NOISA.
South of the Border: the Aguacates are out of this world. A fresh halved avocado, filled with sour cream and salsa. This thing is melt in your mouth goodness. Check it out.
Mission Trail: this locale will treat you to Armadillo Eggs. No, don't worry, they're not actual armadillo eggs, nor are the akin to calf fries. They are jalapenos stuffed with your choice of either cream cheese or cheddar cheese, then they're covered in a biscuit batter type coating and baked. Warm, bubbly, gooey goodness.
International Walkway: this mix n match area is where every food type that doesn't warrant its own area is allowed to coexist in deep fried goodness. Don't pass up the gravy slathered deep fried mushrooms or the deep fried ravioli.
China Town: their cheese wontons make me do a happy dance, and after a few beers, that is quite a sight to behold.
The Beer: oh oh oh the beer. I have enough NIOSA cups to play a game of beer pong with them and I am in no way saddened by that statement. Throughout the event you'll find plenty of beer booths, and depending on where you are, the selection varies. Do yourself a favor and be sure to visit Sauerkraut Bend for some of the best beer selections in the event. Also do the chicken dance and get your picture with the chicken.
When Do I Go? Friday is the final night and it's after the Battle of Flowers Parade, so you can bet your sweet bippy it'll be the most packed then. Thursday is apparently college night so use your best judgment. We prefer to go on Tuesday as we find that is the least crowded of the days and Wednesday isn't too much more packed.
Keep in mind: Cash is KING. Do not expect anywhere to accept credit cards and you must use tickets to purchase any and everything within the event. Yes, it's going to be hot and crowded and busy and sweaty and expensive, know that going into this. Don't be surprised by any of that-this is a super popular event and tons of folks love it. Expect it, prepare for it, deal with it.
So there you have it. My guide to all things NIOSA. Follow these simple tips and be ready to have a great time. Thank you for entertaining my NIOSA version of "War and Peace" and see Ya Tuesday Night!