L Moore
Google
Hubby won a charity auction for a VIP Gazillionaire package to Absinthe, and this is my review.
For something that usually costs over a grand, I was a little disappointed in what was advertised versus what we got. Our package included: round trip VIP transport to and from the venue, a drive down the Strip, a "dedicated cocktail server" with open bar for the duration of the show, and VIP table seating.
We got a fraction of that.
First, we were supposed to be picked up in a Rolls Royce. Didn't happen. They sent a plain white SUV that led to a bunch of communication errors (and resulted in us arriving about 30 minutes later than we had wanted to be at the venue). Strike one. The driver was awesome and accommodating, but what a letdown from the start.
We were driven directly to the venue where a hidden "door" opened up from a hedge. As soon as we got out, we were handed a glass of (bad) sparkling wine and taken through VIP red ropes to the speakeasy out back. OMG the speakeasy is amazing! We were told we could order anything and everything on the drink menu, and that it was "on the house." We took that as a personal challenge, LOL!
We had a reserved couch area in the Speakeasy courtyard, and I wish I could've spent hours here! But since there was all that confusion with our driver, we unfortunately had to rush. We had room to down one cocktail quickly (and it was amazing), then it was time to move into the adjacent tent for the show.
This "dedicated cocktail server" was a complete load of bull. We had different servers come by all night. They were frequent, but that's far from having our own server who knew our wants and needs.
I opted to stick to champagne after feeling super tipsy from my first cocktail, but hubby went all out and tried several different drinks. Let me warn you: these drinks are small, but STRONG. We are pretty tough and can drink a lot, but my god, after two cocktails, we were literally nearly falling down drunk. You have been warned.
Our table was fantastic. Elevated and right in the center, I couldn't have asked for a better view or seat. The chairs were comfy enough and we had tons of room. The standard seating looked miserably uncomfortable and cramped. The table location made the VIP really feel worth it.
The show was weird. Standard Cirque acrobat type stuff: people doing balancing acts, sword swallowing, roller skating, etc. It gets super repetitive. The best part about the show was the M.C. the Gazillionaire and his randy sidekick Wanda, and their schtick was insulting audience members. They weren't mean-spirited at all, and it was mildly amusing. My advice is: the more you drink, the more you'll enjoy the show. A lot of it reminded me of the old "Opium" show at Cosmo. If you saw that, then you'll get the vibe.
The show is too short at 80 minutes, and afterward we were shuffled back out into the courtyard. It would've been nice to have been able to hang another hour or so at the speakeasy, but our driver was waiting and we had 15 minutes to get to the car or miss our ride.
I'm glad we didn't pay $1,200 for the VIP package because, frankly, it's not even close to worth it.
Closing observation: the show has a reputation of being super dirty, but we didn't find it dirty at all. There wasn't even any nudity, and only a few cuss words. I seriously don't get why Absinthe has a reputation for being so "'raunchy." I don't even think my grandma would've been offended by this show.