Michael S.
Yelp
To My Dearest Batch 22 Ube Cookie,
I weep at you having been swapped out for other seasonal selections. Why do they insist on keeping us apart? I'm a tough cookie but my tummy aches for you.
I realize I took you out only 3-4x and even in that short but wonderful time I wasn't completely faithful - chocolate chip cookies are my type, I'll be honest with you about that. If I had only known you'd leave so soon, we would have spent more time together. My wife introduced us so don't worry about her - she knows, and you're her favorite too.
The kind madam shopkeeper told me you may rotate back in a couple months. I said you're the one - but she deflected by suggesting I meet some tarty lemon cookie to take my mind off of you, a notion at which I scoff. The idea of rebounding as if you were just a commoditized baked good is upsetting.
But nevertheless, were I to swear off other cookies to show my heart is with you, it would depress cookie sale revenues and cause me to lose influence as no longer a customer, making our reunion less likely. If I get with other cookies while you're gone, it'll help validate your removal in the first place, again further risking your return. This, I'm afraid, is a real Batch 22. Regardless, the correct choice is clear. The shop is so cute and with so many wonderful options...
On my most recent visit, I chose Cookies n Cream (essentially chocolate chip but with Oreo bits rather than traditional chips) and Campfire (think s'mores). Both were Heller good, but I was thinking of you, if that makes a difference. I tire of deception - but telling you makes me feel as if I am caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
Come back soon, Ube, but until you do... uh, yeah, I'm sorry. You're my number 1, but I guess this is the way the cookie crumbles.