Jenny K.
Yelp
I cannot express how shocked I was to see this place land a 5 star rating. This is not to say I had a terrible experience or needed to alert the FDA on account of unsanitary conditions or anything of that nature, but this place is kind of a mess.
If you consider the awesome location of The Beach Bar, it seems to me that the ease of creating an unmatchable, unforgettable adventure should flow naturally for any business owner with an ounce of entrepreneurship. Regrettably, the best description I can muster goes something like this: WASTED SPACE.
The Beach Bar is nestled in an alcove of one of my very favorite NJ theaters, The Paramount, which is also co-located with one of my very favorite NJ music venues, Convention Hall. It overlooks the Asbury Park Beach, and has both indoor and outdoor bars. See? That sounds kind of awesome, right? You're thinking what I'm thinking: loads of potential.
As far as the beer selection goes... well, it sucks. Now, it appears that if you require a bucket full of the hard stuff, equipped with a McDonald's type straw, you won't be disappointed. But because the restrooms on location are not suitable to manage large amounts of vomiting, in my opinion, I had to pass on this drink special. Perhaps the bucket could serve two purposes?
The inside bar decor is really struggling. And by that I mean, it looks as though the miscellaneous crap hanging on the walls and from the ceiling doesn't even want to be there. Strange paintings that could have possibly been donated by a middle school amateur art class adorn walls, and someone call Johnson & Johnson because I know who stole all their cotton balls to construct some really pathetic-looking clouds to hang from their bar ceiling. Ewww. I don't get it. It's just one enormous eyefuck.
Think of the most experimental band you've ever heard. You know, the one who embraces that dissonant sound that actually hurts your ears-- visually, this is like that times 10.