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Mann Review: The Queen and the Hearth
It's finally here, the moment you've all been waiting for. This one is for you, fans of Mann. There's no need to cobble and construct rudimentary weapons this time.
(7 Sept 1940, the German Luftwaffe commences the devastating aerial blitzkrieg of an unyielding England. As the deep rumbling of many Heinkel He 111 persist overhead, more than a few proud English saw plates a bare and a frostbitten hearth. The all too proud German menace would soon suffocate under the weight of its' nemesis, the English spirit.)
That very spirit persists to this day in Big Ben Pub.
Passport. Check. Plane ticket. Check. Neck Pillow? Ultra check. Time to take a trip overseas!
Let's talk style! Walking into Big Ben, a person will first notice the large and accommodating bar space. Surrounding the bar are more than ample seating arrangements. Walking past the bar will be another large room for seating with walls adorned with TV's, art, and King's country relics. The space is augmented by a little nook that I like to call "The Queen's Corner." It was in that corner that I was greeted by the portraits of Diana, the late Queen, and the warmed hearth. I knew in short order that I was in good company as I waited for a hot, homely meal.
Décor Mann Score: 4.25/5
A wise man once whispered into the ear of a child, saying "temper your rage." Whereas children often heed the words of mavens, the foolhardy grow old and callous. This is the birth of the critic. The sole duty of the critic is to assess and ascertain every aspect of service from conceptions heartbeat to the final silence of the dying mind. As the living brain lusts for oxygen, so too did I lust for the attentive devotion of an impassioned servant. While not harsh or unpleasant, my female waiter fell short of my standards of service as her phlegmatic nature was apparent and unacceptable.
Service Mann Score: 2.5/5
At long last, we make our final stop of the King's country in the Queen city: Food. Two dishes and a foredish were sampled on this particular occasion; The foredish being the fabled Welsh rarebit, and the latter being that of fish n' chips flanked by a steak and mushroom pie. If the rarebit be a taste of Wales, then may the soil of my country never grace my feet again. I wave goodbye to my weeping family as I bolt across the vast Atlantic, stowed away in the belly of a galley. Forgive me for day dreaming, Mann fans, but had you sampled the food, you too would understand. The fish n' chips, while crispy, hot, and plentiful, could have brought a bit more to the table as far as flavour is concerned. If I had a hat to take off, then it's hats off to the coleslaw and wally. Splendid. The late Queen looked on from her corner as I dashed into the steak and mushroom pie. We shared a brief glance before it was off to the races. Savoury, filling, and with a taste of home, this wholesome blend so lovingly made brought to me the comfort of the bucolic. The brown gravy and filling was full of flavour, contrasting nicely with the flaky, airy pastry. I cannot offer praise nor blame to the mashed potatoes. While a great compliment, they were but a pawn in a game of Kings. The same could be said of the vegetable medley.
Food Mann Score: 3.9/5
A wise man once whispered into the ear of a child, saying "temper your rage." He crossed my mind today, as I now think back upon the fervour of my youth. I ponder his thoughts, and if there ever was a moment of regret in his words. In the death of rage, mediocrity is born. Let these be my whispered words. I look up; It is almost dusk. The sounds of bombers can no longer be heard. The clocktower looms, and I can still hear the sounds of children playing in the fields.
Mann aggregate: 3.55/5
Yelp rounded score: 4/5