Rich W.
Yelp
When "DIY" Goes Wrong: Picture this: I'm craving a McDonald's McRib (don't judge me - that processed pork patty with pickles and BBQ sauce hits different sometimes), so I mention this to my wife Johanna on Saturday. Bless her soul, she finds what looks like the perfect upgrade at Big Ray's BBQ - a "Rib Sandwich" with the most mouth-watering description you've ever seen: "Sink your teeth into our Rib Sandwich: tender, fall-off-the-bone rib meat piled high on a toasted bun, topped with crisp house slaw and drizzled in our signature BBQ sauce for a mouthwatering bite."
The photos showed all the fixings too - jalapeños, onions, pickles, cole slaw, even some green beans on the side. I'm thinking, "Hell yes, this is going to blow that McRib out of the water!"
What arrived was a prank: No sauce. No pickles. No onions. No coleslaw. No, anything except a half-rack of sauceless bone-in ribs shoved between two pieces of bread like some medieval torture device masquerading as a sandwich. It looked like someone had given up halfway through making lunch.
So there I am, standing in my kitchen like some barbecue archaeologist, spending ten minutes excavating bones from what was supposed to be ready-to-eat food. I'm raiding my fridge for BBQ sauce and pickles - you know, the basic ingredients that were supposed to come WITH the sandwich I just paid for. I'm de-boning, smushing, and essentially building the sandwich they should have made in the first place.
And here's the thing that gets me - this isn't my first rodeo with DIY delivery disasters. I once ordered a Caesar salad that arrived as three lonely leaves of romaine lettuce. THREE LEAVES. What am I supposed to do with that? Meditate on each leaf? What if I were at a picnic or eating in my car? Am I supposed to carry around a personal prep kitchen?
The "DIY Food Movement" Has Gone Too Far: Look, I get that table-side guacamole is a thing, and it's fantastic because the server does the work, making it feel fancy and interactive. But there's a world of difference between theatrical food preparation and just... not preparing food at all. When I'm paying restaurant prices for delivery, I shouldn't need to become my short-order cook.
Sandwiches should never have bones - that's like, Sandwich 101. Indian rice bowls like biryani? Boneless, ready to eat. Caesar salads? Pre-chopped and prepared to eat, not a construction project. Why would anyone think a "rib sandwich" with six individual bones is a good idea? What's the point of calling it a sandwich if I need power tools to eat it?
The Tragic Irony: Here's what stings: after all my amateur food assembly, the sandwich tasted pretty good. The meat was tender and flavorful. But that's precisely what makes this so frustrating! This should have been considerably better than a McDonald's McRib - it had quality ingredients and authentic barbecue flavor. Instead, it was just comparable to fast food, and only after I fixed it myself.
Think about that for a second. McDonald's, with all their industrial processing and assembly-line efficiency, somehow understands the basic concept of a sandwich better than this local BBQ joint. The McRib might be processed mystery meat, but at least it arrives ready to eat, complete with sauce, pickles, and onions already included. When fast food is more convenient and user-friendly than your "artisanal" restaurant, you've lost the plot entirely.
Final Verdict: 2/5 Stars: Two stars for decent meat quality, minus three stars for making me cosplay as a short-order cook in my kitchen. Big Ray's charges premium prices for what amounts to a barbecue IKEA kit - some assembly required, instructions not included. A sandwich should be a sandwich when it arrives, not a cooking project. Do better, Big Ray's. Your customers deserve food that's ready to eat.
"Me: Hey Claude, do sandwiches have bones?
Claude: No, sandwiches definitely should not have bones. That's kind of the whole point of a sandwich - it's supposed to be handheld, bite-sized, and ready to eat without requiring surgical precision or a toolkit."
P.S. Johanna, you're still amazing for trying to find a McRib upgrade. It's not your fault they don't understand basic sandwich architecture.