Samuel C.
Yelp
Burnside's is a 50th percentile bar on Sixth Street.
Do you want to know what the Sixth Street experience is like?
Burnside's is completely typical.
You can take an out of town guest here with confidence.
It has nothing that would set it apart as a place of distinction.
But nothing is bad here either.
If you want to see 240 undergraduates partying hearty in their party clothes, Burnside's can set you up.
* * *
Burnsides is a 50th percentile place and so is their crowd size.
There are no huge lines to get in the door like there are at rival bar, Cheers, across the street.
On the other hand, by midnight, Burnsides is full.
Management at some of the neighboring bars hire busty girls in revealing outfits to lure in tourists from the street.
Burnsides fills the house without stooping to shilling.
* * *
Drinks are 50th percentile.
This is not a shot bar.
Do not count on finding all sorts of exotic concoctions either vile or otherwise.
There is a tolerably decent line of call brands and beers. You can drink well if you are so inclined.
I went with the house special Moscow Mules. There were completely mediocre.
However, they were three bucks. At three bucks, I can learn to be a tolerant guy.
* * *
The location is 50th percentile.
Unlike many other Sixth Street establishments, there is no backyard, magical or otherwise. There are no scenic balconies with panoramic views. There are no nooks and crannies.
What goes for the drinking space goes for the dance floor. The dance floor is the size of two office cubicles. It is unappealing and few people dance on it.
Burnsides is basically a box - with a smaller box in the basement.
On the positive side, they do have cool chandeliers.
If you like pictures of Civil War Generals with explanatory plaques, they have those too.
Nothing is seedy, poorly maintained or rotten.
Nothing smells bad.
(Compare with the areas near Rainey Street latrines.)
The men's room has the distinction of cramming more urinals into a smaller space than any men's room I have ever seen.
That was impressive.
* * *
The music is 50th percentile.
They have vaguely pulsing Top 40 music with an emphasis on a beat rather than hip hop lyrics.
The live DJ plays the same stuff as what is on the house mix.
I like beats and don't think much of rapping.
This musical formula works for me.
* * *
The crowd is overwhelmingly fraternity/sorority undergraduates.
I was there on a Friday night before a UT football game.
I will bet 90 plus percent of the people in Burnsides on Friday, will be in Memorial Stadium on Saturday.
There were few loners of either gender.
There were a couple of "night-on-the-town" parties - including one group of collegiate bridesmaids with a very very pregnant bride.
There were lots of clusters of people who came separately but recognized other clusters as friends upon arrival.
There were a number of dating couples dressed in the appropriate dating clothes.
Pick up activity was near zero.
There was not much dancing. Occasionally some individuals would start dancing in place. Then when no one responded, they would let the dancing bit go.
The primary activity was milling.
Zzzzzzzzzzz.
* * *
For my money, if I am going to hang out on Sixth Street, I want either
a) more interesting drinks (Yes I will try your $8 Psychotic Llama), or
b) more atmospheric nooks and crannies to sit in (Watching the crowd on Sixth Street from a balcony is fun), or
c) better music. (I prefer the Mohawk unless the club I am in has booked a better band) or
d) dance dance dance paradise. (Hello, Barbarella.)
Burnside's is none of the above.
But it is not tacky, seedy, or unpleasant. The bathrooms won't gross you out.
There is a reason that bottom tier clubs have to pay hot-pants girls to get customers inside.
Burnsides is above that.
