NICK M.
Google
I went to this place Caterina's in San Clemente. Three stars. That's right in the middle: not terrible, not amazing. Just... there. Like my high school GPA.
So about the service... yeah, I get what everyone's saying about it. It's not great. The waitress looked at me like I was speaking a different language, and I was just asking where the bathroom was. I mean, I do mumble sometimes. My girlfriend says I sound like I'm talking through a broken speaker to at a drive-thru. Just kidding. I don’t have a girlfriend. But anyway back to Caterina’s whose name reminds me of a Russian chick that married the guy who first owned the place when it was called “Sal’s”…
The thing is, they're in this perfect location in San Clemente, so they don't really need to improve. It's like when you're the only gas station for 50 miles. You can be rude to everybody because what are they gonna do push their car home?
The outdoor seating though, that was really nice. I sat out there for a while just watching people walk by. Some guy walked past with a parrot on his shoulder. Just a regular Tuesday in San Clemente I guess. In Mexico, I’m pretty sure that would make him a drug dealer.
They have this selection of mochas that's pretty impressive. I tried one with some kind of hazelnut thing in it. It was good. Not "text your mom about it" good, but definitely "nod your head while you're drinking it" good.
The big issue is they don't have Wi-Fi. In 2025. I asked the waiter about it, and he looked at me like I'd asked if I could borrow his teleportation booth. He said, "No, we want people to connect with each other." Which is a nice thought, but I was alone, so I just connected with my phone data plan instead. Burned through like half my monthly allowance looking at pictures of men wearing parrots.
So yeah, three stars. Would I go back? Probably. Would I remember I've been there before until I saw the man with the parrot? Probably not.