The Traveler
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Cerreta Candy Co. Ball Bites (Thin Mint Edition)
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Five Stars - The Most Dangerous Snack Ever Invented.
I'm not sorry.
First, I need to know who at the Cerreta Candy Company headquarters made a pact with the gods of dessert, because these Ball Bites are pure, concentrated magic. They are, as the prophecy foretold, Thin Mints that have been genetically engineered into perfectly pop-able little spheres.
This is no imitation. This is the authentic, dark-chocolate-and-cool-mint flavor you crave, but with a thicker coating and a satisfying, crunchy center. They are not cookies; they are cookie essence, distilled into a bite. Putting a handful of these in your mouth is basically binge-watching a whole season of Girl Scout Cookies in 30 seconds. I now understand why they don't sell these in individual sleeves—the danger would be too great for society.
I bought the "sharing size" bag. That was the first mistake. There is no sharing. The resealable top is a cruel joke, a challenge I failed five minutes after delivery. I tried to put them in the freezer to slow down my consumption (a classic Thin Mint maneuver), but then I just stood in front of the open freezer door, shivering, eating them by the tablespoon. They are fantastic frozen, by the way—they get this unbelievable, hard, snappy shell.
I have hidden the empty bag deep in the recycling bin under a mountain of junk mail. My family thinks I'm a good person who is simply "not hungry right now." They don't know the dark, chocolate-mint-filled secret I harbor.
Do you want to know what eternal happiness tastes like? It tastes like the Cerreta Ball Bites. Buy them, hide them, and never speak of them again. You're welcome.