Merda Shiro' T.
Yelp
TL;DR: If the taste of the food was as jarring as the vibe, then at least the food would taste like something. I did find the chairs comfy, though.
My mom wanted to eat here. I told her I didn't want to come, but hey. Sometimes you do shit you hate for people you love.
There was nothing on the menu that appeared remotely appetizing. I remarked it was... The whitest of menus. And ooof, they couldn't even make a grilled chicken sandwich that didn't have the texture of mashed potatoes in bread.
How could a grilled chicken sandwich just be mush? There's at minimum chicken!
The menu claimed it came with avocado, but instead it was about one teaspoon of guacamole. These are not interchange items. If it's guac, call it guac. I did try some on its own. It only had a mild flavor of lemon. The lettuce was about a teaspoon of shredded lettuce. Onion was two small bits. There were maybe three rings of pickled banana pepper.
This sandwich made a Wendy's burger look like a salad.
The ONLY flavor came from the banana peppers. For real. That was it. Everything was so incredibly bland I wasn't sure I even ate anything. Also? The thinnest, smallest pickle spear I've ever seen in my life had taste. It came from a jar, but good for them, buying a decent jar of pickles.
Chips were well made and crisp, but had zero taste. No seasoning, just nothing. Not even salt. I tried adding them to the mush sandwich for texture, but it still had zero taste so what was the point?
The other day I saw a news parody about a white woman being rushed to the hospital after eating seasoned food, and I can only assume that fictional woman, Becky Blanderson, would love this place.
The vibe was like someone desperately trying to pretend they are still on vacation. It was incredibly loud, and the super elongated menus are ridiculous.
I would absolutely not recommend this to anyone I know, but if you like to eat food that sucks the joy and flavor out of life, this is for you!
Personally I stopped and picked up a different lunch on my way home. Just crappy drive through. A million times better. Tasted like mediocrity, which is a bar Chloez Cafe can only dream to achieve.