Vin T.
Yelp
F O R G E T . P A R I S
So... I'm not sure how it happened, but my dog thinks he's French. Not just any French-- "Parisian" French. We didn't teach him this. He just... decided?.
He's walking around the house, "Bonjour, peasants." I'm like, "Dude, you were born in Escondido. You can't just wake up one day suddenly bougie". And the weird thing is he no longer barks-- he scoffs. With an accent! It's no longer "Aroooooo..." It's now more snooty... like "le woof woof"!
We take him to the dog park. He's walking around with a tiny scarf and a pompous side-eye look on his face. He stands by the fence with his dumb beret and pencil mustache... and is all, "These de-scusting provincials... eating ze Cheez Whiz flavored treats from ze Costco."
One day we walk past the new Christophe Rull Pâtisserie. The dog freezes in his tracks. He's about the destination and normally doesn't stop for anything. Not squirrels, not cats, not sweaty Americans. But suddenly he puts out his cigarette and sits down to stare through the window like it's his long-lost home.
So we go in to investigate. He channels his inner Jean-Paul Sartre: "Ah yes, ze almond croissant... ze pistachio brioche... ze lemon meringue éclair... c'est magnifique." The Chef's wife Wilma thinks we've imported him. "Oh my gosh, is he French?!" And I'm like, "No, he's just... high-brow."
Meanwhile, I'm ordering a coffee like a Tennessee tourist... and the dog is demanding enough macarons for a Versailles picnic. I end up buying him a buttery cinnamon roll. He takes one bite and chef-kisses, "Oui.... a certain je ne sais quoi. Don't try to insult me again with zat 'Milk Bones' I buried last week."
Now he won't eat anything unless I pretend it's French. I'm in the kitchen preparing his "recette avec boeuf". He tilts his head contemplating,"Merci, s'il vous plaît... perfect with a Bordeaux, no?" "And a Perrier, no ice." Vive la France.
Pro tip: Michelin-trained and Food Network pastry chef Christophe Rull has opened his first bakery. He said he hadn't slept much in 10 days to create his fresh-baked pastries, luxury desserts, and signature breakfasts. Far from Paris but as close as you'll get to an authentic Parisian Pâtisserie, we loved it. And your dog will too if he's anywhere near as pretentious as ours.