Gregory B.
Yelp
In town for the Marathon, so coming up from the check in to our Airbnb in downtown Memphis and came on this little dumpster fire. Just so you are aware, this is not a food review, as we never got to sample any. But no matter how wonderful the food may be, the disaster that awaits you, dear reader, it is a true story. ;-)
First, let's talk about what went right. We were sat almost immediately. They got us water and even brought extra lemons, which is a real winner with my wife. Then, at 7:30 PM we ordered Chicken Parmesan and Ravioli (two dishes). I also ordered a glass of Chianti (cause who doesn't like liver, fava beans, and a nice Chianti? - Hopefully everyone gets the reference).
Then we waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. At 8:30 PM we left. No chianti. No bread for the table. No Chicken Parmesan or Ravioli either. Wait, I know what you are thinking. We did not talk to anyone. Nay, day reader. We talked to everyone that worked there that came by. I ordered my Chianti at least 3 times. And, twice, we were told our order was next. Finally a lady with keys, which just screamed manager. She told us things were busy, but she would go check. That was 15 minutes before we gave up. At least now I understand why they are open until 1 AM. It increases the chance the poor diner might actually eat.
Coletta's has an interesting system. You do not have a server, you have all of them. They all work the floor. This means you can equally be ignored by multiple people. Or brushed off after being told for the third time your order was next.
If you read my other reviews, I am not hard to restaurants. I may be a bit witty about it, but I am rather forgiving. And slow food would not normally garner a 1-star review. But when staff member after staff member brushes you off, it gets to the point you start to wonder why anyone would put up with this crap. I imagine it has to be awesome food or the fact it has very nice prices. I will never know.
On the way out, I visited the restroom. I am not sure the urinal ever flushed and two people who walked in after both commented on the horrible smell. I do hope the kitchen is more sanitary.
BTW, I would have been much more lenient if one of the people that said they were checking on our order actually checked. Even if they came back and said, the kitchen forgot your order they are cooking it now. I worked in restaurants. I understand accidents happen. And I understand busy. I don't understand this level of apathy. I hope management reads this and alters things. If so, write a comment and we can try again someday and have a portion of actual food, and not just leave a restaurant review. Then again, maybe the prices have it where enough people are willing to suffer the abuse to keep you in business. If so "God bless, this is America where you can run your business however you damn well please". Peace guys! Unilt next time.