K C.
Yelp
Wow. This is straight up the most rude conversation I have had with anyone in a long time.
I want a locally brewed beer for my wedding. This should be a good thing. I also want to know an approximate price range. This is because I am trying to keep my wedding under 15K. Maybe that's crazy, but I don't want to go into debt for a one day event. I just want to know whether a keg of your beer (half barrel, quarter barrel, etc.) is in the $100-200 range or $400-800 range. I know locally brewed beer can be expensive. But if it's too high end, I can't afford it. I think that's fair.
So I call Craftsman because they have excellent Yelp reviews. Granted, I don't know much about their beer, but I'm trying to find out more. I did this with another local brewery. I called and found out some information, and then after I learned more, my friends and I started trying the beer and picking our favorite flavors.
So here's how it went down. I'm so annoyed I'm transcribing my best approximation.
So the call begins with on a rude note. Some guy who sounds half asleep answers. Him: Hello. (Long pause.)
Me (unsure): Is this Craftsman Brewing?
Him: (Pause.) Yeah.
Me: So I'm working on my wedding and I saw you had great Yelp reviews. I want to get a locally brewed keg for my wedding. Does your company sell kegs for weddings?
Him: (Long pause, sounds like he's chewing gum) Yeah. Sometimes."
Me: Great! Can you give me a price list?
Him: (Pause.) Nope. Don't have one. (Pause.) I need to know what kind of beer you want. And if you can't tell me the name of even one of my beers, this isn't going to work out.
Me: Well, I'm just getting familiar with your beer, so I don't know the name yet. Can you tell me pricing for one of your most popular kinds?
Him: (Long pause.) I don't know about this. You don't even know the name of our beers.
Me (astonished): That's why I'm calling. I'm trying to find out about it.
Him: (Long pause) What size?
Me: Well, I'm still learning these things. What's usually standard?
Him: (launches into a tirade about how I don't know anything about half gallons, quarter gallons, all in a very snarky, condescending tone. Then he concludes with) You know what, this isn't going to work out. You are just looking for a cheap beer.
Me (now pissed): I would go to a local liquor store if I wanted cheap beer for my wedding. I'm looking for something locally brewed, but that can often be expensive. I just want to know if you're remotely in my price range before I go with my friends to try out your beer. I'm willing to pay a lot more than an average keg or I wouldn't be calling local breweries.
Him: We don't have tastings. We only deliver to restaurants. This definitely is not going to work. You can go get your cheap beer somewhere else.
Me (actually shocked): I'm just trying to learn about your company. I'm not sure why you are so angry.
Him: Goodbye. (hangs up)
So the moral of the story is this. Craftsman may have great beer. I will never know because they have terrible customer service. But if you act too good for potential customers, and you insult them and call them cheap, that makes your beer automatically taste like crap to me.