Andy R.
Yelp
AVOID AT ALL COSTS:
Quick Preface:
1. I rarely publish any reviews at all....
2. Most of the times, I could care less for the service if the food is (genuinely) good. It is hardly under my radar, so here it goes:
-- I went to have dinner with my vegan friends for a birthday day. I have learned to appreciate and even be curious about vegan food thanks to them, so I was all in for the experience of a restaurant I've never been to before.
But my instinct hit...and there it was: it turns out "DE BUENA PLANTA" (supposedly) has one of the Unicorns of Mexican cuisine in LA: Delicious OAXACA CHEESE as the main ingredient of a tasty-sounding quesadilla.
Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I still think someone is going to be able to pull of Oaxacan Cheese somewhere in this city. I have given up so many times because I've come to the conclusion that, in order to make real Oaxaca cheese, you probably need questionable methods and the type of milk that could be considered illegal by the USDA (read about the raw milk raid that happened in Venice a few years ago, it's a trip).
"Guelaguetza" in K-town doesn't have it, Enrique Olvera's overrated "Demian" doesn't either, nor the sadly now-defunct "Valle" across the street.
To those who don't know, Oaxacan Cheese is a type of very elastic white string cheese that, when very good, has a slightly creamy texture and it never resembles those crappy sticks from the supermarket -- It is really a delicacy. And there are a bunch of imitations that just look like it but taste like the unholy spawn of a candle, a Twizzler, and a rubber band.
But I think "hey, maybe I'll win the lotto today.....maybe DBP goes against the grain, maybe, just maybe, a genuine chef truly takes risks and knows what good Mexican food tastes like." Maybe I'll just order a $12 quesadilla instead of any other item on the menu, because it'll contain the yummy white gold that Oaxacan cheese.
Drinks are poured, the salsa is good,... the anticipation builds up...
AND THERE SHE IS: My glorious quesadilla, very much ready to be devoured by yours truly...in all it's glorious (wait....)...YELLOW? ORANGY? (Gasp) GOEY uhm GOOD..NESS(?)..
- WHAT THE ACTUAL F -
This is not Oaxacan cheese, this is not even a sh**ty knockoff. This is your oh all so reliably bland piece of GRINGO CHEDDAR. You know which kind... the one that is shredded over Taco Bell or Tito's.
I quickly ask the waitress (who was a darling, btw) and point out that this is not Oaxacan cheese, it is not even a similar variant. (I kid you not - Gator Loki would be appalled).
She KNOWS, and nervously tells they "just changed the menu" and that Oaxacan cheese should not be listed on it. I guess she noticed my disappointment, so she kindly offered to talk to the manager and ask about it (take that, Karen).
And so, the manager (that I never asked for) is summoned to try to solve this cheesy glitch in the Matrix.
"WHAT DOES SEEM TO BE THE PROBLEM,SIR? - she asks visibly annoyed.... I point out the obvious. To which she says AGAIN that "the chef changed the menu and that they are trying new things" (I guess in an alternative reality you call yourself chef if you melt slabs of Lucerne in between a flour tortilla).
"Well, this is not what I ordered,"- I politely reply - "This is like if you ordered a burrata and were given a big old ball of stinky blue cheese instead -- This is not real Mexican food."
- GET READY---
She replies "WE NEVER CLAIMED TO SERVE AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD, IN FACT , WE USE TACO SHELLS LIKE TACO BELL!"
Let's sit on that for a moment.....
THE MANAGER of a bougie restaurant (which is, in turn, part of the also uber snobby BUTCHER'S DAUGHTER), in the middle of Abbot Kinney - one of the most expensive and exclusive streets in all LA- just compared the venue to a fast-food chain that CLEARLY has more pride in their food than they will ever have. She did this instead of, you know, apologizing or maybe offering to switch the item, or comping the plate......just good ol' decency and customer service, you know?. It is a $12+Tax+Tip quesadilla with less quality than Chipotle, for Christ sake!
In 15+ years in LA up and down in the restaurant scene, I had never experienced anything like this. But it was already awkward for my friends ...so I had to let it slip. So thank you, Yelp.
So now you have been warned, go to Taco Bell instead. At least you know what you'll be eating.