Christopher D.
Yelp
It's okay. That's about it.
When you go to a live sports event - baseball, football, golf, etc., you're always going to have a portion of the crowd that's really into it (well, unless it's a 'Horn's game because then the entire crowd is into it!) and some portion that's there for a good time regardless of the action on the field.
Diehard baseball fans won't care about this review, nor should they. Go team. But if you're looking for a night out, here's some things to know.
First, parking is an outright bitch. With long lines snaking into the ball park you are going to wait unless you're seriously early and the ATX is not a seriously early kinda town. General admission parking - and they have a couple of options for "premium" parking - is $10. Oh, that's cheaper than downtown on Friday night you say - yeah, but downtown you're dropped at the door and a valet does the rest. Here, you self-park and walk. And walk. And walk, to get in.
The park itself is still in relatively good shape having opened 20 years ago, but there are signs of age. I don't know about the women's rooms, but yes, the men's could use a paint job. And a cleaning. The concourse aisles are oddly narrow between seating sections and the food stands yet very open where no food stands are. This means the crowd surges and then squeezes back and forth as they move around the park between the stands. In other words, you're gonna be in a crowd no matter what.
The actual seating was replaced last year - you could even buy the old seats as souvenirs - and I have to say the new seats are closer and smaller.
Now let me say this gently, but the average baseball fan is not small of girth. You've got some big folks here, so unless you are okay with constantly being bumped by people having to pass you in your row, this ain't the place for you. And frankly, the small skinny girls bumped me too - the rows are just to narrow to do anything else. Even as a relatively small guy turning sideways to try and let people pass I was bumped by every single person coming and going.
Food prices would make Jerry Jones proud: $10 for a hot dot dog and frozen fries. Let that sink in - a hot dog and fries (no drink) = $10. If you bring your family you will need a home equity loan. Drinks? No better: $11 for one large beer. You'd better believe I nursed that puppy for seven innings - no way I'm having two!
Which brings me to the last point. Having gone to see the Express from Day One I can tell you I used to get a much more family vibe there. Yes, they still have the pools beyond right field, yes, you can still spread a blanket on the hill over the outfield, yet I remember when it was much more of a family feel including restrictions on beer sales. With beer available all over including mobile vendors and isolated carts selling just beer that's changed. Not as family friendly as it used to be.
To be clear it's not a bad night out but it's also a particular kind of event. If you can hang with the costs, the parking and the tiny seats then go. Just remember I told you so.