Fox E.
Yelp
My exes don't call me an ex boyfriend. They call me the "doner." More specifically the Sperm Doner. But that's beside the point.
What to get: Doner Kebab, duhhhh
What to do next: Become an organ Doner
Do disco singers eat here?: Doner Summer does
What about Britney Spears?: Idk, but if you find out, Doner let me be the last to know
Inside info: The Gyro and Doner are actually the same (shouldn't be, one is Greek, one is Turkish, this is honestly closer to neither lol), but dressed up differently (like Barbi when not at work).
So you know the songs "Gyro" (as in, I can be your Gyro, baby), by Tzatziki Iglesias, as well as "(We Could Be) Gyros" by David Bowie, "My Hero" by the Food Fighters, "(And Then A) Gyro (Comes Along)" by Marinade Carry-out, and the song "Gyro" by those wizards of haunting, moving music - Nickelback - and the very controversial, outspoken "We Don't Need Another Gyro" (um, yes we do) by Pita Turner.
Not to mention "Working Class Gyro" by John Lemon-potatoes and the even more poignant, meaningful protest song "Gyros In A Half-Pita" by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Well, they actually weren't about this Gyro place. Sorry.
We really wanted to love this place but we really didn't. The decor is amazing and the prices are okay (just okay), and the service is okay depending on which day you come here. But really the main thing that we do ratings on is the food, the taste, the enjoyment of the meal itself, and we have very high standards when it comes to Gyros, probably from my time in Milwaukee, Chicago (the birthplace of the US Gyro), NYC and Toronto (the best places to find Greek style Gyros), and places like Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania and so on... and even if we didn't have high standards, this wouldn't have been our favourite.
They have Doner and Gyros as the name of the business, which doesn't suggest that they really both the same thing, but when you taste them, they are. Neither one tastes so much like the delicious Chicago Greek inspired street food, although that's what they're a fuzzy facsimile of. Neither one tastes like real Greek Gyros either, obvi.
Neither one really tastes like the Turkish Doner either. If anything they takes a lot like Halal Guys, and that's basically what you'll be getting here. Between the two I would prefer Halal Guys, not by too much, but I was hoping for something a little bit more refined. In a way, Halal Guys has ruined the fast food Gyro, and finding an actual Gyro has become difficult.
I've doner lot of things in my life, and one of them is to eat here at Doner & Gyros, and I may do so again. Maybe.
So if this was in Europe, it'd be Doner & Euros. Whereas if you were only allowed to visit it once in your life, it'd be Doner & YOLO.
Now, I'll let Bonnie Tyler close out the review.
I need a Gyro!
I'm holding out for a Gyro in the Sugar Land night!
It's gotta be hot and it's gotta be big and you've gotta give me the first bite...
I need a Gyro!