Daniel C.
Yelp
It's inevitable! If you live in San Antonio during Fiesta and don't live under a rock you will go to the Oyster Bake at some point in your life. It's unavoidable! Whether you had a Tio that had spare tickets and you were able to score one, it's the boys night out, it's the girls night out, you are going as a couple, you're going with couples. Hey, you might be just going by yourself! Whatever the reason you will go to this event at some point in your life.
And if you went you have probably seen it all before. The dude with the twelve empty beer cups stacked up high like it was some badge of honor. The girls who wear ten mile high wedge high heels and see them roll down the hill. The Rattler Frat boys who think that a "burp" is a clever pick up line. There is lots of food to be had here. There are tacos, burgers, steak, steak on a stick, turkey legs and of course the must have oysters. Then there is the must have chicken on the stick with a jalapeno resting on top. Delicioso! So why do I give this popular Fiesta event three stars you say, well, do you have two days?
First, this event is extremely overcrowded as well as overpriced! We have to admit as the city grows, celebrations citywide will increase too. Which means the cost of our favorite foods must equal to that. Secondly, there is absolutely no parking whatsoever! The Bake people themselves charge twenty bucks to park in their lot. You can park in the residential area, but you have to do so right when it starts up. Otherwise you can do the Park and Ride at Crossroads and sit next to some inebriated jerk who forgot he is no longer at The Bake!
Still not convinced of the three stars rating let me give some more examples.
While you are bobbing and weaving through the crowds, if you take a shower substituting beer for water this is your event! Expect to nudge into someone and vice versa and have someone spill beer on you. It's a known fact. But not to worry on the music front they have entertainment for all tastes country, rock, hip hop and easy listening music. The only thing is some of these artists haven't been relevant since Drakkar Noir and Nelly were big back in the day! But you always have the porta potties to look forward to after you have had too many drinks and way too much food. Good luck with that! Do I have to remind you the toll twenty beers and thirty turkeys legs has on the stomach? TMI you say? Well, it is what it is.
Before I go on and I can let me offer you some tips, as a recovering Oyster Bake participant and also to them as well.
To you:
1.) Go early and leave early. The crazies get there after 5. Get your oyster fix then bail!
2.) Parking grows scarce as the day draws on. Go early and park in the residential area. Or if all else false do the Park and Ride at Crossroads. Let someone else chauffeur you to this event. They even have a kiosk where you can buy tickets for the bake and forgo long lines.
3.) Eat and drink plenty of water before you go. You are gonna buy food and drink items but this at least lessens the frequency that you have to.
4.) Wear sunblock. Buy and drink water. Period.
5.) As cute as your high heels are they are useless here. Wear shoes. If you choose to wear flip-flops or sandals be prepared to have people step on your feet, especially as the night draws in.
6.) Bring plenty of cash and an ID, as they card you when you by alcoholic beverages. Plus if you lose your cash it's better than losing your credit cards.
7.) Travel lightly, no need for big purses or anything that will make it harder to push through the crowd.
8.) Travel in a pack. Safety in numbers is true here. Also set a rendezvous point in case you get lost or separated from friends.
9.) Your phone is more than for social media, use it to help keep your friends and family close to you.
10.) If you have a friend that can't hold their liquor make sure to keep them at home. Liquid courage, machismo and in politeness are rampant here!
To them:
1.) Since we are tax payers and we help pay for street improvements let there be parking through all the residential area without fear of being ticketed.
2.) With the twenty dollar ticket price I think the entertainment could and should be alot better than Fastball for the umpteenth time! Instead of just having the big stage area for 99.5 KISS bring an up and coming act that has some buzz that will fill the Rattler Stadium area!
3.) I know Budweiser is the King of Beers, but at least devote one booth for just Texas brews!
4.) It would be cool to bring in different culinary experiences, for example invite food trucks. It would be a hit. Have a contest who has the best food for the event. Make an event within an event.
5.) I like the layout of the Oyster Bake now, but some food areas should be moved, to keep the flow of people moving and without incident.
6.) You need more seating. A twelve hour day is tough on the old dogs.
Go but be mindful!
