Fox E.
Yelp
Cinderella does DISHES
Genies grant WISHES
Trump makes us SUSPICIOUS
Let's go to FRUITEALICIOUS
Windows has GLITCHES
Real football has PITCHES
Salem burned WITCHES
And I love FRUITEALICIOUS
The mob has SNITCHES
Parkinson's causes TWITCHES
Your ma tastes like CEVICHES
Your sis like FRUITEALICIOUS
Brit said work, BISHES
And Katy Swish SWISHES
A psycho killer HITCHES
A ride to FRUITEALICIOUS
Bad friends burn BRIDGES
50 Cent went rags to RICHES
Mendes will need STITCHES
If he comes to FRUITEALICIOUS
I have a lot of ISSUES
I need a box of TISSUES
From f*** yous to MISS YOUS
Let's meet at FRUITEALICIOUS
I'll get you all LUBRICIOUS
Then act somewhat MALICIOUS
I won't be EXPEDITIOUS
Except at FRUITEALICIOUS
Pitbulls can be VICIOUS
Or give you wet KISSES
No doggy, I want MISHES
Right after FRUITEALICIOUS
My p**is is AMBITIOUS
Its legends quite FICTICIOUS
Its milk is quite NUTRITIOUS
Much like FRUITEALICIOUS
Spin Doctors did 2 PRINCES
And crabs have nasty PINCERS
And pinching causes WINCES
So come to FRUITEALICIOUS
Most raps rhyme more than THIS DOES
And most guys have small MISSLES
But not me, I'm NARCISSUS
So come... to FRUITEALICIOUS
I make out with fives and SIXES
But never more than KISSES
By Mistletoe at XMAS
Or outside FRUITEALICIOUS
I date Jens and MELISSAS
Who pretend I'm not SUBMISSIVE
But I'm so good at SWITCHES
And so into FRUITEALICIOUS
I get with guys in DITCHES
And service whole MILITIAS
My exs swim with FISHES
And I love FRUITEALICIOUS
I get my Oxy FIXES
And win a lot of QUIZZES
My moon can do ECLIPSES
Right outside FRUITEALICIOUS
(pulls down pants to prove it)
So listen, I gave every other location 5 stars, including the Austin one. I'm in love with this chain. But this location should have received 1 star. I'm being generous. *Awful* experience.
What to get: Brown Sugar Milk Tea, Raspberry Black Tea w/Aloe Vera, Aloha Refresher.
What not to do: get with aloha man on the totem pole than myself.
We are massive fans of this Dallas chain that also has a location down in Austin but this is by far the worst experience we've had at one of these places. We bought two drinks and both of them were extremely substandard. Mine was a brown sugar milk tea that really did not live up to what we expect from brown sugar milk teas by any stretch of the imagination. It tasted like watered-down milk is basically all.
As for her Aloha refresher it just didn't have the same Pizzazz, and was a warm drink (supposed to be cold or chilled) and considering that the lobby was extremely warm with absolutely no working air conditioning, considering that we had sweat dripping off of us from how bad it was in here, which was one of the main reasons we didn't like coming in here - every store has a bad day but still. Not acceptable. The drinks aren't cheap so if you're going to charge $5 for a bubble tea you better make it well. Especially when all the other teams make them spectacularly. If it's going to be this awful and uncomfortable just close for the day or give the drinks away for free. They tasted like water. Crap. Boo.
And there's the fact that the employees were not happy at all. They were not very nice to us and they were not particularly nice to each other and were talking bad about one of the other employees when she left the store. Most of all they were absolutely furious at the owners to the extent that they were telling everybody that came in how bad the owners were in no uncertain terms for not fixing the air conditioning. Now I absolutely agree that the owners should be way more Hands-On with the store, and this mainly lies with them and it's their fault and it's nobody else's fault. But at the same time these people could have been diplomatic and nice about it instead of taking all their frustrations on the customers and ruining the experience or perhaps they can give discounted drinks or free drinks or something and instead they just had terrible attitudes and were being insulting - honestly the only reason I give them a two instead of one is because any place where Barbie looks this good could not possibly receive one star.
Honestly though, don't swear about your owners in front of customers. Don't complain about the owners at all in front of customers. Don't serve awful drinks when you know they're supposed to taste good. Don't take your issues out on your customers.
Now the Beatles will finish us off. So to speak.
Yesterday
All my bubbles seemed so far away
Now I need a tea with Raspberry
Refreshing me, like an Aloha or 3
Why she had to go, I don't know
She wouldn't say
She went back to Fruitea without me
And got a Brown Sugar Milk Tea