Jim M.
Yelp
Flew in to Washington DC and Mexican Food was in for dinner.
Surprisingly Google highlighted several spots all around...Guapo's kept jumping out at with a 4.5 stars and comments like "best Mexican food here"
They advertise on..."From colorful sombreros to our authentic mesquite grill, Guapo's will supply you with everything needed to create a memorable and delicious fiesta..."
Full disclaimer...It was not a good day for Guapo's because in my group is my 1st generation Mexican mother and no one knows quality Mexican food like my mother.
The setting is pleasant and seems like a good spot to dine. It was busy for a Sunday (Superbowl Sunday) and the loud merengue and salsa music just threw me off. I honestly felt that we were the only actual Mexican anything in this whole place.
Salsa n chips are my thing (kinda point this out in my reviews) I will excuse lots of things for great salsa and chips. This place didn't even come close to my rating on salsa and chips. The chips were super thin, brittle and mostly broken up into small pieces (kinda when you get the bottom of the bag chips) they were just terrble!
The SALSA...hell the only salsa in this place is the music that they are playing annoyingly loud throughout the place. The concoction they intended to pass on as salsa was watered down (not even fresh) pico de gallo and a bitter dark brown/green stuff. Tasteless and just plum terrible.
The drinks are watered down coca cola products and cheap alcohol infused with a margarita mix they pitch as a Margarita. Sure does look good but taste like.....rather not say.
The menu has a small selection, seafood, steak or chicken. Parrillada, vegetarian or on the limb. Hell it was so limited that the one item that seemed worth trying was the Chile relleno plate. They stuffed to poblano peppers with ground beef, dipped them in eggs, fried them, threw a ton of cheese on them, added rice, beans, more cheese and called it Mexican. Well it was tasteless, poorly cooked and the rice/beans....drier than the Arizona summer. None of the other others made our list and couldn't really talk much on account of the non-stop salsa/merengue music blasting on the speakers.
Oh but wait...theres more!
Out come the most ridiculous crap show I've ever had the distasteful opportunity to witness. I'm sure they could hire a handful of people from the least Mexican place on Mars and have them throw on a mariachi outfit while only repeating El Mariachi
Loco at the top of their lungs an this might, just maybe, help clients think ahhh MEXICO!
Congas, maracas, güiro, and a cowbell....yes, salsa and merengue not Mexican. Anyhow the show was for 2 birthdays being celebrated and boy was it a ridiculously disappointing representation of Mexico.
If this were a Chinese, Russian, Greek, Italian, Puerto Rican, Bolivian or any other restaurant and they pulled this crap on you...you'd agree that it's offensive.
The service is poor and don't keep up with refills or additional items needed....like forks!
They do come and ask if everything is good and still you need to ask multiple staff to bring you that one very important missing item....a fork!
The food was bland (for my taste), the drinks could seriously use checking and in my opinion (as a traveled foody) they should seriously pick one...a Mexican Restaurant or a Caribbean Cuisine themed eatery.
The restrooms are clean and well kept. Parking is a little tricky but not impossible like at the Municipal Fish Market at The Wharf.
Sadly this is Not a place I would return again. The owner should hire a consultant of actual Mexican food and look into what is Mexican IF you are to refer to his establishment as a Mexican Food place.
Oh and the $226.00 bill was not worth the meal, the experience or the entertainment at this place. My mother laughed at this place and I totally agree.
On to the next...don't forget to tip your servers-regardless of the service you receive.