stephanie b.
Yelp
Gundlach Bundschu: Where Wine Meets Chaos
I had high hopes for an evening of music and wine at Gundlach Bundschu's amphitheater. Sadly, those hopes were crushed faster than the grapes in their vintages.
The winery seems to have adopted a 'sardines in a can' approach to ticket sales. The lawn was so packed that a quarter of us ended up sitting on dirt, probably getting a taste of the terroir we didn't ask for. Navigation was a nightmare - imagine trying to cross the Atlantic on a pool floatie, but replace the ocean with a sea of picnic blankets, limbs, and bags.
Need a drink or a bathroom break? Good luck! The hillside was a treacherous obstacle course, with no clear path to salvation. Security guards, apparently trained in the art of unhelpfulness, blocked every sensible route. Their solution? 'Just traverse the barely navigable hillside in pitch darkness.' Because nothing says 'wine country elegance' like stumbling over strangers in the dark.
When we attempted to forge a path to the tasting room, we were left with two options: become expert crowd-surfers or tightrope walk across hay bales. My friend chose the latter, resulting in an unintended stage dive that would make rock stars proud. The only available escape route? Across the stage itself, earning us a stern lecture from a juvenile security guard who waited for us for 15 minutes while we were in line to buy a bottle of wine and seemed more concerned with stage sanctity than patron safety. Didn't ask once if she was hurt!
The cherry on top of this disastrous sundae? All restrooms were conveniently located on one side of the property. Apparently, GunBun believes in 'survival of the fittest' when it comes to bladder control.
In their quest to maximize profits, Gundlach Bundschu has forgotten a key ingredient of hospitality: guest safety and comfort. A lighted path or two wouldn't hurt, folks. Neither would a lesson in basic event planning.
We left just 40 minutes into the concert, our evening ruined and our enthusiasm for GunBun thoroughly stomped like grapes in a vat. If I wanted this level of discomfort and danger, I'd go to a mosh pit - at least there, it's expected.
Gundlach Bundschu, you've managed to ferment a perfectly good evening into a bitter experience. Congrats on achieving notes of frustration with an aftertaste of regret. This is one vintage I won't be revisiting.