J Jason B.
Yelp
All the requisite Chinese food elements: prints of Asian landscapes in frames so cheap they sag; dusty paper lanterns hanging from a drop ceiling that makes you wonder what this place once was...
But as far back as I can recall now this place has been the home of down low take out, so they must be doing something right.
Since I worship at the church of branch vegetarian, there's not a ton I can eat here. The giant menu that spans the north wall is full of absolutely nothing I'll eat, but every time I'm here I marvel at the thought of how-the-hell-they-get-that-in-here?! If the lights inside that thing still lit up the whole dining room would look like the briefcase from Pulp Fiction.
Most of the things on the walls are put up with clear packing tape. This seems to include the linoleum wall panels themselves. The base boards are also covered in tape or they may possibly be made of tape... The multitude of promotional college sporting schedules are clearly the nicest things hanging.
I ordered a variety of dishes with the intent of taking them home for review: Veggie Egg Foo Yung and Mu Shu Veggies (both on the menu) and Crispy Orange Tofu (which was not on the menu, but Orange Chicken was. They gladly substituted tofu.) My order was ready by the time I'd finished ruminating on their decor- maybe 10 minutes. The entire order was so large they found it easier to put it in a box instead of a bag, and I think I kept it under $20.
I honestly didn't expect the food to be spectacular, since I had change from a 20 and enough food to feed a family of Sumo wrestlers, and it wasn't. Wasn't bad though. The highlight of the meal was the Orange Tofu I asked for. The Foo Yung was delicious, but the sauce it came with had some sort of animal stock in it and I ate a couple good sized bites before I smelled it. Yeah, I guess I'm going to vegetarian hell now. Whatev. Lastly, the Mu Shu was tasty. If you know anything about Mu Shu, you know it's not the most graceful of foods to eat, and take out is not the way to go. The rice pancakes have a very short shelf life. They get too dry, they crack, they get to wet, they break. If you can make it through more than one pancake before you just say forget it and start mixing everything together, which is what I did, you're doing good.
Something tells me that someone somewhere who is really into authentic Chinese "street food" would think this is the best place in town. I, however, am more into the Chinese "not street food", and will relegate Happy Family Chinese Restaurant, like pretty much everyone else here, to the status of "where to eat when you're broke and don't want to drive."