Nacho Average Foodie
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⭐️ 1 out of 5 — Hella Disappointed Burgers 🍔🚫
Look, I didn’t come to Hella Delicious Burgers expecting a 5-star experience but I also didn’t expect to be emotionally betrayed by a sandwich.
From the moment I pulled up, the energy was off. Buddy at the window made eye contact with me like five times and still couldn’t muster up a “Hey, I’ll be right with you.” Just vibes. Dead, lifeless vibes. I felt like I had walked into a food trailer that resented its own existence. If greeting customers is too much, maybe toss a sign up that says, “Order if you dare.”
Now let’s talk about this “burger.” For $24 and change, I got what tasted like depression on a bun. No seasoning. No love. No effort. The patty was unevenly cooked like it was mad at me. The lettuce and tomatoes were basically a swamp, making the whole thing soggy enough to qualify as soup. It felt like the burger gave up halfway through and said, “You know what, never mind.”
The fries? As bland as the customer service. Honestly, if this had been a $5 burger, I'd say, “Okay, fair. Feed it to your dog as a treat.” But at this price? This is culinary robbery.
And let’s just say the conversation at the window didn’t exactly clear things up unless the goal was to confuse me into silence. Between the food, the service, and the prices, I’m not sure which part hurt the most. Maybe the part where I realized I should’ve just gone home and eaten cereal.
Bottom line: If you’re gonna phone it in like this, just close your doors. Save yourself the frustration, the inventory, and the time and save us, the public, from ever having to endure that mess again.