Beautiful L.
Yelp
Full Review Disclaimer:
What follows is my entire review of Henrietta's on the Bay. Some of these points absolutely should not deter you from going, because the food is worth it. But comedy lives in the little details, so buckle up.
Henrietta's on the Bay - A Foodie Blockbuster (With Some Deleted Scenes Best Left on the Cutting Room Floor)
Parking: The lot is large enough to fit approximately 7.24 golf carts. Not seven. Not eight. Seven point two four, snug as Tetris blocks. If you drive an actual car, best of luck in this round of Fast & the Not-So-Furious.
Ambiance: The building itself is classy and clean, like a restaurant straight out of Eat Pray Love. Interior dining chairs look eclectic and artsy but are about as comfortable as a Saw sequel marathon. Exterior dining is better... unless it's 130 degrees out, in which case you're living in Fry Hard.
Bay Windows: The view is phenomenal, almost La La Land romantic. But beware - during sunset, those giant windows transform into God's own laser show. For about 45 minutes, every diner inside is starring in Blinded by the Light. No tint, no blinds, no shades. You'll hear the collective grumbling as patrons try to shield their faces like vampires caught in a matinee. The view is 5 stars, the retina damage is 1 star.
Service: Here's where we move into A Series of Unfortunate Events. I've been here nine times, and service has been a culinary roulette wheel. First time I asked about the wine selection and the server, without delay, stated that he didn't know anything at all about wine, what they had, how to spell it, or what it looked like. And he was serious. For the sake of animosity, we'll call him Mike. Twice, it was solid - drinks came when they should, servers smiled, things felt like an actual restaurant. The other seven times? Let's just say Waiting... could've filmed its sequel here. Refills range from "appropriately frequent" to "hope you brought a camel's hump to ration water." The short manager with the constant death stare could moonlight in a Paranormal Activity reboot - he doesn't manage so much as silently wish diners would vanish. (insider secret - ask for Jorge to be your server - you'll thank me later.)
Food: The silver lining - and it's plated beautifully. The chef deserves a standing ovation. South Padre Island needed a fresh menu, and Henrietta's delivered. Every dish I've had has been genuinely good. Whoever is back there in the kitchen is pulling off Ratatouille levels of magic, proving that at least one rat in the building knows what it's doing.
Verdict: Henrietta's is a foodie paradox: delicious dishes worthy of a foodie film festival, wrapped in service that often feels like Dumb and Dumber. We've given it nine tries (because hope dies hard), but like any bad franchise, we're probably not coming back for the tenth sequel. The owners own several restaurants/bars on the island, and it's certainly apparent that they do not have the time for quality control or staff selection.
5 Stars for food and location.
1 Star for service.
Overall: 1.25 stars rounded up because the chef is carrying this place harder than Tom Hanks carried Cast Away.