Sterling S.
Yelp
Let me preface by saying that Hi Spot's location, atmosphere and overall feel is uniquely pleasant. The cafe's shell is a single-family house transformed into a restaurant, and the unusual utilization of the architecture makes for a very cozy and distinct experience.
However, Hi Spot falls short in two key things: quality and service.
The waiters, while pretty on the outside, are bland and emotionless. It feels almost as though the human brain has evolved differently for the workers of the Hi Spot Cafe. It has developed into something of a smooth, robotic sphere that can only afford to process food and drink orders. If a Hi Spot waiter's brain tried to process small talk, or- god forbid- a joke, the waiter might simply explode into space dust. Or maybe not. Not one soul in history has ever seen them try it. Somehow, Hi Spot has developed a sophisticated, streamlined hiring process to ensure that they will only hire people with the personalities of fish. Impressive!
The food at Hi Spot is OK. The meals are fulfilling with good portion size. The biscuits and gravy are phenomenal. Food is on the better end of mediocre here, if you can dodge the mold or the hairy food, which Hi Spot has served me in the past. For the full experience, I might recommend bringing a hazmat suit.
Come to Hi Spot for a physically cozy and emotionally cold dining experience. I have no doubt that some could enjoy the peace here that is consequent of the waiter's supreme idiotism. If that's you, I definitely recommend giving this place a try. Personally though, even if my most depraved friend was suffering from fatal levels of caffeine depravation, I would hesitate before taking him to Hi Spot Cafe.