Don B.
Yelp
I love a good food-related adventure.
So I have regular occasion to drive down Glisan from 82nd to I-84, and the other day while I was doing so, I noticed a discrete sign on the N. side of the road that said "FRIED CHICKEN". "Holy crap!" I think to myself. "There's a fried chicken place within 2 miles of my house and I didn't even KNOW about it?!?!"
Fast forward to today. My wife (who usually admonishes me for doing stuff like this) is on a trip, so I, being a free man, decided to go out on the town. What do I do? Go to strip clubs? Go out drinking with the guys? No, I go to some sleazy dirty run down hole in the wall to eat food of dubious cleanliness and suspect quality.
Anyway, I walked in the front door and found (immediately 3 feet inside the door) a janky orange counter with 2 stools in a tiny (maybe 12 x 12) room with some fryers and a dishwasher. The lady standing behind the counter looked genuinely surprised to see someone come in the door. I did what any normal guy would do in this situation: Acted like I knew what I was doing and grabbed the menu to make an order. The front of the menu was very telling. It said "Hour Glass Pub & Eatery". That's Funny, I walked into a place called "Chicken Little Fried Chicken"... hmm... That's when I realized that this was just the kitchen part of a dive bar pool hall. Awesome!
The menu is simple bar food and fried chicken. I opted for the 4-piece take-away for $5. The menu also includes up to 20-piece buckets (for $19.50) and a few "chicken dinner" options. The offerings also include pork chops, steaks, wings, and other various pub fare. The cook told me that it would be 15 minutes, so I made my order and wandered to my left through the open door into the Hour Glass. Now I see what's going on. This is a dive bar kitchen masquerading as a crappy hole in the wall chicken joint! You can't fool me, you sly people, you.
Wow, this place has "82nd and Glisan" written all over it (even though its at 74th and Glisan). It is your typical smoky dive sports bar offering TV's, pool, darts, full bar, video poker, smoking, lots of drunk-ass regulars and... uh.. did I say smoking? Anyway, I grabbed a seat at the bar and had a couple cocktails while I was waiting for my order. The staff was very friendly and the drinks the bartender was pouring were stiff.
The first thing I noticed when I sat down was the clock above the bar. All the numbers were jumbled at the bottom, and across the top of the clock it said "who cares?" Yes, who cares indeed. Classic. It meshed so well with the wood paneling, off-colored vinyl booths, formica bar counter, and shriveled up regulars. Everyone seemed very friendly (genuinely), and within the 15 minutes I was waiting I had conversations with at least 4 people about topics ranging from football to bicycling to television repair to the going price for NY strip steaks. Let's just say I was well entertained by the whole ordeal.
After about 15 minutes the cook came over and gave me my bag o' chicken. I asked to pay my bill: 2 stiff vodka sodas and 4-pieces of chicken = $9.50!!! Wow. I said my thanks and made cordial goodbyes with the regulars, and was on my way.
The chicken smelled so good in the car, and my anticipation grew with every passing minute. I got home and tore into the bag... hmm, wow, these are the smallest pieces of chicken I have ever seen! Do you suppose they have a connection at a midget chicken farm somewhere? Ok, well, maybe the chicken is so flavorful that I won't notice that the chicken wing was actually a chick wing.
WRONG. The chicken is marginal. DAMN. All that anticipation to find that the chicken is really not that good. I guess the name "Chicken Little" was intended to be a literal label. Maybe a dyslexic named it, and they actually meant "Little Chicken"? Who knows, suffice to say, I am not satisfied. The breading was so so... lacking inspiration, it seems to be merely some batter, maybe some corn starch, but no seasoning whatsoever. The flavor of the old grease was shining (bright as the sun) through the taste of the chicken itself. At least it was cooked all the way through.
So I just ate 1/2 a chicken and... well, I just don't feel satisfied. That has to be a first. I thought I was going for overkill, but the price was so low, I couldn't resist! Maybe I should have gotten the $7.25 "chicken dinner" that included jo-jo's and a salad. Or maybe at least the "2 tacos for $1" deal they had going on. I just thought 4 pieces was going to be way too much. After my Fryer Tuck's experience, I was being conservative. Crap.
So, I give this place 2 stars for the sheer adventure of getting take out from a crappy dive bar in Deep NE PDX on a blind hunch. Plus, the staff and the clientele were super nice. I guess this might be a good place to be a raging alcoholic, drinking away your sorrows or merely living in a state of utter denial, but don't come here for the chicken.