Bradley N.
Yelp
"Driving Miss Moblee," Act I, Scene III, Part III (6/18).
[B. stands up and goes out the back entrance, which market visitors typically use to access the outdoor restrooms. He reappears fifteen minutes later with a Model Bakery levain baguette, serrated Wüsthof bread knife, bamboo plates, organic cotton napkins, plus a bunch of fresh dill and a small container of Straus Family Creamery organic sour cream from Hudson's Greens and Goods. Background music is Sting's "Soul Cake" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1gRK8hwqkY)].
[With a seasoned hand, B. expertly prepares E. several slices of baguette topped with picked crab, fresh dill, a dollop of sour cream, and twist of cracked pepper from a small pepper mill he had borrowed from Hog Island Oyster bar].
B: Here ya' go, Miss Moblee. I's also git' this here bottle o' wine fah ya', since I seez youz drunk mosta' Rob'rt Seenskee Carneeros whaht wine a'ready.
[B. deftly opens a chilled bottle of Hudson 2018 Napa Valley, Carneros District Aleatico, an aromatic black muscat variety traditionally used to fortify red wine in Portugal but vinified by Hudson Wines as a dry, complex drinking wine instead, a perfect pairing with Dungeness crab baguette slices and available for purchase at Oxbow Market].
[B. inserts a Menagerie titanium gold plated "wild boar" model aerator-pourer inside the bottle, so that he can deliver 4 oz. of the crisp, fragrantly scented white wine into E.'s waiting Zalto wine glass without spilling any precious drops on the table].
E: Thank ya', Boke. Ya' sucha sweetie pie, ain't ya'?
[E. sips some of the Hudson Aleatico wine while contentedly eating a Dungeness crab baguette slice].
E: Now, d'ya happen ta' have somethin' sweet and maybe a nice cupa' green tea fah' me as well? I haaave drunk quite a' bit 'o wine ta'day. As you know ...
[E. winks playfully at B. and laughs].
B: Well, shoot, Miss Moblee, you dun got ma' all fig'rd out bah now, dotcha'?
[B. produces a box of Whimsy & Spice honey lavender shortbread cookies, two green ceramic tea cups, and a glass Hario02 carafe filled with Leaves and Flowers genmaicha green tea from Kagoshima Prefecture, Japan, both of which he had purchased at Hudson Greens and Goods and then sweet-talked a kindly server at Kitchen Door to brew and plate for him. In exchange for a couple of Jacksons, that is].
E: Ya's pos-i-TI-vely ASTOUNDIN' ain't ya'? Is there anythin' ya' caahn't da', Boke?
B: Weahl, I kin't wraht no wahn r'views fa' The Press, Miss Moblee, 'caus you ain't never asked me if Iz wanted ta'!
E: But, Boke! You ain't no wahn critic or nothin'! Ya'za Yelp reviewer an' all, and you wrawht fah' free!
B: Dat's true, Miss Moblee. But may-bee it mahght nut alw'ys bee dat' way, I'm thinkin'.
[E. sets down her wine glass and looks intently into B.'s eyes].
E: Are ya' serious 'bout that, Boke or jes joshin' meah? I ain't got no time to discuss this wit' ya, anyway. We is alread' late fuh mah next tastin' at Hess. We 'kin talk all 'bout that ... possibility latah.
B: Well, then, Miss Moblee, let's git' in that Tesla a' yourn and git' on 'lectric motor'n ta' da' Hess C'llecti'n, then.
[B. extends his right arm to E., who hooks her left arm firmly into the crook of his elbow to steady herself on the walk outside to the waiting Tesla, fully charged and ready].
E: Boke, thanks fah all ya' help today here at tha' Oxbah. Ya' is clearleah more then jes' an ordinary drivah, now ain't ya?
B: I reckin so, Miss Moblee. I reckin so.
E: I'm thinkin' this may jes' be the staht of a bee-u-ti-ful friendship, Boke.
B: Weahl n'w, Miss Moblee, Iz dough't rahghtly know ya, an' ya' dough't rahghtly kn'w me, but there ain't na' reason ta be all lon'ly al'ne, now is theah?
[E. and B. exit the market and board the Tesla, bound for Mount Veeder & the Hess Collection, to the sounds of "Lonely Alone" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzcwdgaJ_e8)].
[End of scene].