Jon V.
Yelp
OK...Let's talk about the Jeanie Johnston Pub in JP. Mostly because Chris (my housemate) just wrote a review of it and it brought back some fond memories.
It's a great place to get in a bar fight, and their mac and cheese, albeit a little salty, is a great value.
Did you know that I start all my reviews with "OK," then briefly mention the place I'm reviewing, go on a personal tangent and eventually get back onto the topic? That's my formula. Now you know!
Being a Cultural Anthropologist, I quite enjoy watching people as if they were animals in cages. This suggests that I might have Antisocial Personality Disorder, but the diagnosis was inconclusive.
After about 9 pm, the JJ crowd seems to devolve into monsters, like when Captain Janeway on Star Trek Voyager turned into a space iguana.
I watched a young couple show up, have some drinks and proceed to act all lovey dovey. The girl went to the bathroom, the guy called another girl on his cell phone and said: "I'll to get over there soon..." The original girl reappeared. Guy got angry and asked her where the fuck she had been. She told him he was a psycho, and she went across the bar to another guy, a stranger to her, and asksed him for a smoke. They went outside. The first guy looked out the window, waited for the other two to return, and splashed his PBR in the girl's face. The smoking guy's girlfriend appeared and attacked the first girl from the side. The two girls were tossed out and the guys bought each other a beer. Then the smoking guy left. The other one picked on a disabled guy and another bar fight started but it ended quickly when the disabled guy started having a seizure.
Really interesting.
I thought I was going to get into a bar fight there before. This guy was staring at me, spitting a bit when he chomped at the air, saying some slurred stuff about fags and kicking ass, or something. But, I think I might have misinterpreted him, as it became apparent that he wanted to have sex with me. Straight guys wanting to experiment are so funny. It's amazing they can drive or hold jobs, never mind get laid. Anyway, after I told him to kindly fuck off he suggested that we go to the bathroom, and mentioned something about how he wasn't a fag but that he wouldn't kick Marky Mark out of bed. Then he started hugging me and calling me "bro." Later he sang "Good Vibrations" (not the Beach Boys version, by the way) on the Karaoke machine while undressing me with his eyes!
If you think I judge, you misread me, dear reader. I should note that the bar staff are laid back good guys, the beer is good, varied and cheap. It smells a little like barf in there, but all JP bars do, except the dbag expensive ones. I love the JJ. Plus they are open until 2am!!!! Super bonus!
Anyway, you seriously need to get the $3 mac and cheese, a pint of PBR, kick back and take it all in. Karaoke is especially fantastic. Also, the drunk men in uniform provide some fun twists and turns. Let's just hope there aren't any emergencies in Center-South JP on a Saturday night! Oh, no wait: BAR FIGHT!