Zakir B.
Yelp
I'm sorry: No. I've lived literally next door to Joe's for the past six years, and I never go there, because it sucks. Tonight, I read all the hype on Yelp, and I thought, I must be missing something, some greatness, and I ought to give the place another chance. I called and ordered a steak and cheese with peppers and onions, and specified that I wanted mayonnaise and hot peppers on the sandwich. I went downstairs a half-hour later. I met the sous-chef, paid my $11.50 (yes, eleven dollars and fifty cents for a sandwich), and returned home. I unwrapped the sandwich and found . . .
A bunch of greasy waxed paper. Two cheap, thin halves of a bun, overflowing with very hot, flavorless, overcooked, undersalted beef. So much of it, in fact, that I had to eat the first half standing over the sink, as tiny, rock-hard pellets of blisteringly overcooked beef fell out of the sandwich and into the sink. Was there mayonnaise? Maybe the spirit of some, ethereally dabbed onto the sad excuse for a bun. Were there hot peppers? No, not really. Not so much as you could taste. Mostly, there was a pile of inedible hot meat that spilled out of the confines of the "sandwich" into my sink. I gathered this stuff up and tried to eat it, because maybe it would be good, freed from the bread? No. Overcooked, more like blisteringly hot pieces of cow-body, and spilling. Impossible to eat.
I've been taken to steak-and-cheese places in Philadelphia, and those sandwiches, aside from being wonderful, were *sandwiches*--they were edible and juicy and stayed on the bread they were packed into. They were savory and flavorful. This experience was IN NO WAY like that. This was searingly hot, dry, dry, overcooked beef, unadulterated with any juice, savor, cheese, or mayonnaise, and raining out of the bun. Whether it was eaten out of the confines of the "sandwich" or out of my sink, the meat was terrible. I guess the $11.50 was the price of confirming that this place, really and truly, did not serve edible food. I feel like such a fool.