Donald T.
Yelp
Kiko's Place Seafood - The Best Fish Tacos, Maybe Ever. Possibly in the History of the Ocean
Folks, let me tell you something very important: Kiko's Place is not just a food truck, it's a national treasure on wheels. I've eaten seafood all over--Mar-a-Lago, Trump Tower Grill, even that one time in Atlantic City (big mistake)--but Kiko's? Absolutely next level. Like Poseidon and a Mexican abuela opened a food truck together. Beautiful!
First of all, the fish tacos--WOW. Crispy, golden, perfectly seasoned. They've got the crunch of capitalism and the flavor of freedom. I bit into one and said, "This is what winning tastes like." Fresh fish, better than anything Biden's eating, I can tell you that. They don't even skimp on the toppings! That cabbage slaw? Incredible. Creamy sauce? TREMENDOUS. I asked what it was, they said it's a secret. I said, "So is the formula for success."
The shrimp burrito? HUGE. Bigger than the crowds at my rallies. Full of grilled shrimp, rice, beans, avocado--it weighed more than a small child. You could do bicep curls with it. And I did. Twice.
Let's talk about the truck itself. Sparkling clean, red-white-and-blue level of cleanliness. The crew? Hardworking, talented, very fast, possibly the Navy SEALs of seafood preparation. One guy grilled a fish filet and chopped cilantro at the same time. Multitasking. Could run a country, honestly.
And the prices? So fair it almost brought a tear to my eye. You're getting filet-mignon-level flavor for taco-truck money. It's like a deal I would've negotiated with Mexico--but for shrimp!
Final thoughts:
Kiko's Place is MAGA for your mouth--Make Appetizers Great Again. If you're not going here, you're doing lunch wrong. If the Founding Fathers ate tacos, this would've been in the Constitution.
Would I go back? I already tried to buy the truck. They said no. That's okay. I'll settle for another taco.
-- Donald J. TACO PRESIDENT