Chase H.
Google
I've always thought of Kismet Bagels as perfectly serviceable. You can't get truly great bagels in this city, so I score based on a Philly adjusted scale where five stars are the highest quality you could feasibly get *here*. Kismet bagels are fine. They are not my favorite bagel in the city, and I'd go elsewhere to buy bagels for myself, but I have had them bought for me by a friend as well as picked them up via apps like Too Good to Go for a discounted price. They are decent. The folks inside are always friendly and the vibes are good so I'd call the business generally about four stars.
However today I had an experience that has very solidly driven my review downwards. I was given the unfortunate curse of a Kismet poppyseed bagel. This bagel has been a plague upon my self and my household. This bagel was made with more seed than flour. It was utterly encrusted in poppyseeds to the point that it appeared black, which is fine, but those seeds didn't stay on the bagel. If I get a poppyseed bagel I expect I'll get some poppyseeds on my hands and that I'll need to brush off my lap and wipe seeds from the table. I expect my plate or napkin to catch most of the fallout and to perhaps be slightly annoyed later to find a few seeds I missed. THIS bagel was like a poppyseed land mine. I am covered. The counter is covered. The floor is covered. The toddler is covered and she didn't even eat any. Every bite caused a shower of poppyseeds.
This is NOT an enjoyable experience. I should not need a broom in order to eat a bagel. I should not REGRET having TOUCHED the bagel. Whoever made the choice to turn their bagels into the poppyseed equivalent of one of those glitter bomb cards you send to your worst enemies needs a strict talking to. I sincerely hope someone gives them one of their own bagels so they, too, can experience having to clean their entire kitchen in the middle of the day.
Anyways, the bagels are otherwise serviceable.