Elija Bandersnatch
Google
It’s always a little hard to leave a less than perfect review for a place when the kids are nice, when the smiles feel sincere, when you don’t want to hurt feelings. On the other hand, nothing here feels particularly personal, it does not have the charm or intimacy of someone’s dream. One does not get the feeling that this place, this food is the culmination of someone’s lifelong passion, or if it is, it’s been watered down by corporate franchises. So first up, the kids were great. Friendly and helpful. Even the new guy.
I got the whole shebang knowing I could not finish, but wanting the full experience, three meats, spam musubi, the Mac salad, white rice. If you’re not a big fan of Mac salad, your choice of sides are severely limited… either rice or rice. The meats were a spicy chicken, a garlicky chicken and a fried chicken.
On the good side, the Mac salad was better than expected, maybe coriander? Or caraway? Or something that escapes me but it was nice. And the fried chicken was also a surprise, crunchy and moist, well seasoned. We were off to a good start and I was all set to sing high praises, but then we got to the last two meats. The spicy chicken and the garlic chicken, which were indistinguishable from each other, bland, cold, chewy, and boring.
Suddenly the experience turns into classic cafeteria fare. The rice was soggy. The spam musubi was terrible. The thing about spam musubi is that done right it is wonderful, a compact food for the gods. The perfect little bundle of goodness made to take with you on adventures to far off lands and what makes it good is just a little bit of char. A little caramelization. A tiny bit of crisp. It’s like bacon for crying out loud. Flabby spam is an insult. It doesn’t develop any flavor. Well this spam hadn’t developed any flavor. It was sad. And I was sad.
When you find yourself looking at a series of covered trays, there is always this question, how long has that stuff been sitting there? Is it fresh? Is it hot? How often do they switch it out? Who makes policy? Do they care? It all reminds me of school… or prison. Particularly when you sit down and the food’s cold and dry and bland.
They gain points for the fried chicken, I lucked out, it must have just come from the fryer. And they gain points for the staff who were cheerful and engaged and seemed to keep the place immaculate. Even the bathrooms.
But, it is not a place I would go back to.