Michael M.
Yelp
"Two tacos and a Schlitz".
Having now been here a few times the bartender semi knows me. I need these after Nova went off on me last night
"when I said I wished you'd get to know my friend I didn't mean get to know her in the biblical sense you asshole"
"Am I a mind reader now"?
Greasy, heavily seasoned meat smothered in mounds of shredded cheese that only an 80-year-old woman suffering from chronic bowel obstruction could appreciate. These, my friend, are tacos meant to be consumed by men...and broads. Men not afraid to risk it all for the love of the woman he knows rightfully is the missing piece in his life. Men of action. Men of mystery. Drinkers who understand the cultural significance of beers like PBR, Hamms and my beloved Schlitz and the broads who put smiles on their faces and make them better. All this from tacos you may ask.
Yes Sir and more.
Not that these tacos are anything magical but rather it's their simplicity that makes them, dare I say, mythical. No bullshit tacos with none of the filler shit like lettuce whose only purpose is to fill the shell so you get less meat, less cheese. All meat and cheese is the jam here with no bullshit beer and no bullshit whiskey.
I don't go to the FU once the sun sets because it gets as busy as a hooker running $69 dollar blow and go special in the parking lot of a Monster Truck Rally. Good for them. That and I generally despise most people on the planet including the Cliff Claven mother fucker two tree stumps down from me who insists on talking to me about his boring ass life while I can't help but wonder just how long it would take him to bleed out once I shove this plastic fork into his jugular. The bartender seems cool enough. I'm sure she'd give me another fork but lucky for Claven I spent most of my Prairie Meadows winnings already on Jillette (the best a man can get) Jill for short, a traveling hooker who just happened to alert me that she was in town last night so I don't currently have adequate tip money to ask the bartender to not only help me carry the body out to my truck, let alone mop up all the blood, so I'll behave myself. It's your lucky day Claven. Look, I have no problem blocking out every word Nova says to me and I'm in love with that crazy bitch so ignoring you is not a problem. Maybe I'm to the point in my life where I just need an old man bar. I came here for the tacos and Schlitz. Claven I can do without.
5 stars since I won't hold Claven against them