Grey P.
Yelp
I should preface this review by saying it is a painful one to write. As an Argentine and a longtime fan of Mallmann's (I own all his cookbooks), I went to La Boca with high expectations.
Maybe the first red flag should have been the name: a restaurant with prices excessive even by Manhattan standards named after one of Buenos Aires's most iconic working-class neighborhoods.
Since our table wasn't ready when we arrived, we went to the bar. My wife told the bartender she likes her cocktails spirit-forward and dry. He suggested what sounded like a riff on a martini, promising to make it even drier for her. What arrived was a treatment for scurvy: a few ounces of lime juice with a hint of cucumber.
We were eventually seated--followed by our drinks--and then left to wait. And wait. Was this a clever joke on the word 'waiter'? Finally, the sommelier came to discuss wine with my wife. His descriptions of Argentine bottles (which we know well) made little sense, leaving us to wonder if he'd ever tasted them. We ignored his advice and ordered a bottle we trusted (at prices that looked like they'd been listed in Argentine pesos). Only when our cocktails were nearly gone did someone appear to take our order. We went with beef empanadas, eggplant milanesa, "Francis's thick milanesa" (beef), and domino potatoes, a Mallmann classic.
Then came the bread and butter. Argentina has great food, but bread is not our pride. In that sense, La Boca was authentic: the bread, presented in a lovely silver dish, was cold and rubbery. The butter was equally cold. When focaccia and baguette share the same texture, something's gone wrong. We gave up and sent the basket back.
The empanadas arrived next. Delicious--except they were cheese, not beef. We kept them, though, and enjoyed the filling: cheese balanced with thyme, paired with a chunky tomato water touched with vinegar, bright and summery. Still, not what we had ordered. To their credit, the staff quickly corrected the mistake, and the beef empanadas were also good.
The mains followed. The eggplant milanesa was excellent: tender slices, breaded and fried, laid over smoky eggplant purée with avocado and a spicy sauce reminiscent of sriracha. A dish imbued with the spirit of smoke. The "thick milanesa," on the other hand, was a creative way of ruining a milanesa and a filet mignon both at the same time. The beauty of a milanesa lies in the crust-to-meat ratio and, of course, the crustiness. Here, it seemed like the beef had been brushed with a lukewarm mixture of breadcrumbs and oil after the fact. Since it hadn't been grilled or cooked on a plancha, the tenderloin itself lacked its own crust as well. A double loss. The domino potatoes, meanwhile, were undercooked and unsalted--like a spa cleanse. Normally I don't mind when chefs withhold salt shakers, assuming they've seasoned the dish properly. But if they haven't, diners should be spared the runaround of requesting salt three separate times, only to be brought a pepper shaker each time. (The salt and pepper shakers are very pretty. Unfortunately, they're also identical.)
Bottom line: go elsewhere. The décor and live music were memorable; everything else would be forgettable if not for the price tag. Yes, restaurants need time to find their rhythm, but watching what felt like the entire Argentine soccer team parade by every 30 seconds without eye contact or awareness of our table didn't inspire optimism. The empanadas were excellent--but you can get equally good ones at Criollas (two locations in town) for half the price. Maybe this restaurant is an elaborate lesson staged by the real denizens of La Boca, who understand the value of great food, aimed at people willing to overpay for mediocrity. If so, touché. If not, we were simply had.
