Jill K.
Yelp
This is one of the strangest hotels I've stayed in. It's certainly nice, but it's like someone took a list of attributes that swanky Vegas casino hotels should have (giant bathroom, TV in bathroom, lots of outlets, fancy coffeemaker and good coffee in the room, telephone next to the toilet, swanky decor, giant walk-in shower with a million showerheads) and included them all in the room... but in absolutely no logical way.
Here's the play by play:
[1] The stand-up shower is huge. It has a zillion showerheads like fancy Vegas hotels. One is a directly-overhead-aiming-straight-down-at-your head "rainfall" showerhead. But then it also has a regular hanging-from-the-wall showerhead... buuuut... you can't have only one of them on; it's either both or nothing. So if you prefer the wall-showerhead, too bad, you're getting water from above. OK, no big deal. But, as my fellow Yelpers have already mentioned, it also has these two turbo-powered water jets that aim DIRECTLY at your smushy-bits / dangly bits, and the water pressure will take off a layer of skin. Like seriously, forgive the TMI, but right now, my bunghole skin is sore from the pressurewashing. There is no way to reduce the pressure of these jets. And you can try to aim the waterjets elsewhere, but you really can't avoid them. So, prepare for the bunghole-blasting of the unpleasant variety.
[2] The bathroom looks stunningly gorgeous when you walk in... and it has a zillion lights in it... buuuuut... the way they are aimed you still can't put your makeup on because the lights are shining directly down from the ceiling, so all you get are shadows. You can try to lean and contort, but it's no use.
[3] The room has a cute little coffee station with a nice coffeepot and decent coffee pods and real half-and-half... buuuut... it's in the bathroom. There's plenty of room on the dresser in the main part of the room, yet they put it the bathroom. Puzzling.
[4] The beds are comfortable with super-soft fancy linens, and cozy down-stuffed covers... again, super-luxurious... buuuut... there are so many blankets that you get totally tangled up and you keep waking up.
[5] There are a zillion outlets by the little round table in the room... buuuuut none by the beds. Hope you didn't wanna charge your phone. (Though here's a road-warrior pro-tip from your travelin' pal Jill: Always pack a power strip. You'll never get stuck choosing between plugging in the lamp or plugging in your phone again.)
I know this review makes me sound like a total over-privileged "First World Problems" weenie. I feel like a tool writing it, honestly. But I'm just so amused by this whole thing that I had to share.
Besides, my butt hurts.