Sam E.
Yelp
I showed up here to kill 2 hours as I waited to check into an Air B&B. This will require a bit of context, so buckle up. I was less than 24 hours out of the termination of a painful Scottsdale Bachelor Party Bender, one seen by 99% of the men/women that frequent that bubble city on an annual basis.
My head felt like I had suffered a severe closed head injury from the way we eviscerated the levels of our dopamine and serotonin in a short stretch of days. Based on feeling alone, you would think we needed a Glasgow Coma Scale assessment at the start of each day of this trip. My stomach is not nauseous but it did feel a bit tender as if I had consumed a fair amount of battery acid in the days beforehand. My body felt similar to a young ASU CoEd that had a train rolled upon them from the backend of a home-and-home when the boys from RPI roll into town. Beaten, in agony, mentally depleted. Only one way to face the day. Induce pain and suffering.
I dropped my fellow bendees off at the airport and commenced the 3-day unwinding of the bender that was the only appropriate way to allow AZ to properly resonate in my mind, rather than the worst hangover I've induced.
I hit the Anytime Fitness on Indian School. Surprisingly enough, my elbows didn't bend like Tommy John's when I finished my first set. I was rolling. This place looked like a cross-fit gym where the cult was shut down like a classic David Koresh standoff, but this time rather than a world-renowned domestic terrorism scene, a savvy franchisee hopped up the space and opened one of the most elite 24-hour gyms I've seen.
I followed this session up with an egg white omelet and a breakfast sandwich, that was a little off-brand for me because I'd prefer to have the cholesterol of Vito Corleone. After all, everything else is copacetic labwise. Little did I know, this was just what I needed.
I followed that up with a 90-minute session on the trails of the Phoenix Mountain preserve, which resumed the soulsweat that I needed more than anything.
That's when I found myself with two hours to kill. I quickly looked at my location, and found the "office" of a client that is a bit of a deadbeat was a short 1.5 miles away. I launched my reconnaissance mission but longstory short, his office is non-existent and I really should not be surprised by his actions now. Pathetic people have pathetic actions.
I decided two days without coffee was simply unacceptable for a stimulant fiend like myself. I drove around the city and came across Lola and found a convenient parking spot. After 3.5 months of reading nothing but sad examples of people abusing power to show their own arrogance in the form of judicial opinions, I figured it was time for a changeup to read up on relevant things.
I dove into an epic analogy of Trotskyism vs. Leninism from the hero of liberty himself, George Orwell. This iced coffee soothed my mental anguish and was the perfect complement to this satirical piece while I willingly sit in an open-air sauna.
I will return. Probably tomorrow, for a significant portion of hours to induce a level of optimal efficiency that would seem impossible some 48 hours to mine and the lads' self-destruction. If I was an ASU Law Student, I would live at this joint.
