Authentic J.
Google
I walked into this McDonald’s for a McChicken.
I walked out feeling like I needed a lawyer, a priest, and maybe a restraining order against myself.
The moment I stepped in, the cashier looked at me like I was the seasonal item they only bring back once a decade.
He leaned over the counter, licked his lips, and said:
“Welcome to McDonald’s… you look deluxe today.”
Sir, that is ILLEGAL. I am weak and easily influenced.
When I ordered a 10-piece nugget, he said:
“Baby, you can have MY 10-piece… it comes with extra sauce.”
I’m pretty sure HR would explode if they heard that, but no one in that building has obeyed a rule since 1998.
Then the manager popped out of the back wearing a crop top and said,
“Sweetheart, we’re out of napkins, but I can wipe you down myself.”
EXCUSE ME?!?! THIS IS A FAMILY ESTABLISHMENT.
The ice cream machine turned on by itself the moment the cashier winked at me.
I swear I heard it moan.
Machines should NOT be acting up like that. That’s a felony in at least seven states.
By the time I got my food, I somehow had:
a free McFlurry
the cashier’s number
the manager’s number
and a coupon for “One Private McRib Experience” (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!)
Would I return?
Not only will I return—
I think I’m legally married to the night shift now.