Lola B.
Yelp
THIS REVIEW IS FOR THE "CONE"
or what us humans (and hopeless addicts) call a vanilla ICE CREAM CONE,
formerly known as mcdonald's frozen yogurt, until it was revealed
that it wasn't frozen yogurt at all.... it is:
Whole milk, sucrose, cream, nonfat milk solids, corn syrup solids, mono and diglycerides, guar gum, imitation vanilla flavor, carrageenan, cellulose gum, vitamin A palmitate. (see:http://www.fatfreekitchen.com/junkfoods/mcdonald-ingredients.html)
and it's not "Vanilla", it's Vanilla-ish, or vanilla-like, or more commonly vanilla-flavored.
And it's not ice cream, it's ice-cream-esque. Hence why mcdonalds simply called it a "Cone".
I'm all about simplifying-- I mean, why not just call a food by it's shape? Seems intuitive, right? I'll have a circle with a melted square on a bisected circle with a side of vertical lines and a diet cylinder with transparent cubes. Oh, and I'd like a deep-fried parallelogram for dessert.
AWESOME!
But hey, now that we've settled all that, this is review number six in my series about Frozen Yogurt.
The Fro-Down:
So even though this is not really frozen yogurt, and it's not in the San Francisco Bay Area, I feel compelled to review the Elmira Road McDonald's (and Triphammer Road McDonalds) in Ithaca, New York, because they are the genesis, the alpha, the initation, the SEMINAL LOCATION (okay that's gross), of my fro-yophilia.
My mother and I agree... there is crack in the cone at mcdonalds.
It's that simple.
They have a vat of liquid crack cocaine and they pour the vanilla-esque creamish product in there and swirl it until it's cold and then they pipe it onto a cone and watch as the soccer moms and administrative assistants and truck drivers and bricklayers and hairstylists drive through the drive thru with crumbs still on their shirtfronts and blouses from the cone they just got up the road at the OTHER McDonalds and devoured on their way down the hill on route 13, or up the hill, in case they are hitting the Elmira Road McDonalds' first and then the Triphammer one.
The worst day of my life, the machine was broken: at both mcDonalds.
So I drove to Dryden.
I really hope this doesn't demean me in the eyes of you other fro-yo connoisseurs and connoisettes out there... but a person has to start somewhere... and seriously... you know you have a guilty bad-food habit you admit to no one. You love Jif peanut butter, or you drink Postum... or maybe... maybe you like Goobers (either the PB&J mix in the jar OR the chocolate-covered movie theater peanuts it doesn't matter!), or maybe its Potted Meat you love or even... even Vienna Sausages.
yeah, so before you start tossing cans of spam or ambrosia salad molds at me just remember...
The Fro-Yo at McDonalds in Ithaca has crack in it.