Hash S.
Yelp
Somewhere to the east, a city is trying.
Somewhere, places with names like Lovely's 50-50, Apizza Scholls, Ken's Artisan, Escape From New York, Scottie's, and Sizzle Pie--hell, even Hotlips and Atlas--prove that even a relative pizza wasteland like Oregon can make somewhat average to above-average pizza.
Somewhere, there's good pizza. That somewhere isn't Moto.
The family wanted to get something quick, and I outright refused another dough circle from Papa Murphy's (just cook the thing, willya?). Little Caesar's was backed up, so one of the nieces suggested this place. The result was just sad.
First, a $10 pizza is the cheapest you have here? Really? In Jersey that's still the going rate for a regular neighborhood pie. Second, what was this place? I don't mean when it was a Little Caesars: When it was built. I'm guessing there were car hops and doo-wop and greaseball burgers... and that nobody's done anything but put orange boards on the window since.
That's when I knew we were in for it. We ordered about $30 worth of "pizza" and brought it home. When we opened the boxes, I realized just how far supermarket frozen food aisles had advanced. You have to go pretty deep into a supermarket's generic brands to find one as lifeless and half-hearted as this. The oddly ketchupy sauce, the fatty "cheese," the cardboard crust. All the bad memories of '80s and '90s freezer pies came rushing back, and I didn't appreciate the PTSD.
I can see how the Ochoa family built a mini restaurant empire right across the street. I can see how Peppers packed their place pre-Covid with this right outside the window. I can see why the parking lot in front of the cop shop is still seeking food carts.
Moto isn't a neighborhood pizza place: It's an exercise in just how far some people will let their standards slide for the sake of keeping the bill to $10. This place doesn't do pizza well, it doesn't understand a value proposition, and it doesn't seem to have any shortage of suckers looking for a taste of low expectations.
I think too much of myself and my family to ever darken this drive-thru again.