Adam C.
Yelp
It's 1:30am in West Haven, CT. The buzz is dying off and the refrigerator is empty. Atop of my GrubHub app sits New Haven Pizza. I take the plunge.
I can't speak ill of the customer service as others have, my order arrived in about 30 minutes...though my special instructions to deliver to the back of my apartment building went either ignored or overlooked. Driver was a super nice guy and had no problem finding his way to me once the phone call was made, and he made sure to hit me with a solid "Sorry bruh, ha, you know?." No sir, I don't know, but your apology has been accepted.
I felt I played it safe...Potato Skins w/ Cheese & Bacon and the "recommended" Steak & Cheese sub. You can't mess those up can you? FALSE.
I cracked open the potato skins to find a cup of ranch dressing instead of sour cream which would normally throw me off, but in a half-drunk and half-starving state, I was oddly intrigued. Little did I know that ranch dressing would be the best part of these potato skins. Now, I've had my share of well-done potato skins and can appreciate a nice crunchy bottom...but these things were BLACK. Yuck. Also, I have no idea what they're pushing over there as "bacon"...but whatever was in my crunchy, black, burnt charcoal bowl of melted cheese tasted and felt more like small chunks of ham than any bacon I'd had before. Maybe I'm not the bacon connoisseur I've always thought I was? Damn you New Haven Pizza for making me question myself!
On to the steak & cheese, which was more 75% bread / 15% lettuce & tomato / 5% steak / 4.5% cheese / .5% mayo. That sub was so dry I'm pretty sure you could find Walter White's pants flying around in it somewhere. Also, I'm catching a trend here with their "meat" selection. I don't want to say they use Steak-Umms...but I'd say they're using Steak-Umms.
All in all...I wasn't hungry anymore when it was all said & done, but I came out of that experience feeling like a far lesser human being than I did before. Don't drink and GrubHub, guys.
Pros - Awesome dude-bro delivery guy. Intelligently placed ranch dressing flavor compensator.
Cons - Everything else.