Paul R.
Yelp
I've never particularly enjoyed cafeteria food. It's always associated with the idea that you're going to receive something bleak from the bowels of hell behind the food line. And oh, look....Hades is even dishing it up himself! Yay? Where does this doctrine of suffering originate? I haven't a clue but for me, it all began in elementary school. I can't think of a single time that I was excited about lunch provided by the school system.
I recall fellow classmates expressing excitement that every other Tuesday was Taco Salad day. I can't for the life of me understand what the cause for celebration was. For starters, the taco shell (as they called it) looked like those old Pickelhaube helmets the German military used to wear during WWI. The only thing missing was the spike on top. The original helmets were made of boiled leather, which precisely captures the flavor and toughness of these special Tuesday afternoon delicacies. I hope that many students promptly made an appointment to see a dentist shortly after attempting consumption because human teeth were never intended to penetrate this rigid, steel-type of material.
Perhaps its these vivid memories of my unrelenting tussle with grisly school lunches that drives me to avoid all cafeterias like a fairgrounds Port-O-Let. You just know that on the other side, you're going to be dealing with things that can't be unseen.
In any case, I was asked to join a few friends of mine who work in the area on a quest for sustenance to Piccadilly Cafeteria. I'm going to try to keep this review short because I've still been suffering from sleepless nights and to describe, in colorful detail as I tend to do, everything I experienced, I'm afraid I would be tearing a hole in the progress I've made with my psychiatrist to get over the ordeal.
I found the food to be just that....food. I was going to use the word 'sustenance' but that essentially means a necessity for existence. Piccadilly is NOT a necessity. It's just 'stuff' to get you through an afternoon, I guess, which is what I think school system lunches were intended to be, too.
I think what really disturbed me were the people I found dining in there. Scary. I read that this cafeteria was chosen as 'the best place to take the whole family'. Really? Is it because of the prices? It has to be because it can't be the food. I saw some macaroni and cheese sitting under a heat lamp for so long, it developed a terrain over the top that, upon closer observation, resembled the satellite images of Mars' rocky planet surface. I was just about to attempt a search for the Mars rover when I was told I had to keep moving.
Oh, right, back to the customers. Wow, what a foreboding bunch of creatures I witnessed in the dining area, savaging what appeared to be turkey legs in a merciless, barbaric manner. I guess it was so easy, cavemen really COULD do it. I might also add that while in line, there was a group in front of me that was engaging in a game of who could fart the loudest. Then, one of them was messing with their fingernails over the food. Seriously, in the restaurant?? The only thing they DIDN'T do was check themselves for polyps in the buffet line. It's also worth mentioning that while we were dining, a guest at a table near our party burped so loud, I turned around and began looking for the epicenter. Honestly, I think I felt plates in the earth shift! C'mon, people! Just because you can 'bring the whole family' doesn't mean you have to act the same way you do when you're in your living room with them.
The food was okay and it might be enough to get you through an afternoon. Don't look for anything more. You won't find it.