Devon S.
Yelp
Getting pounced on as I come out of the bathroom...
Bearish Gay Guy: You have excellent teeth. What are you doing here?
Me: Huh?
BGG: You're really pretty, and too straight for this place.
Me: Huh?
BGG: Have you ever seen Mean Girls? You could totally be a mean girl.
Me: Huh?
BGG: I mean you look like one, not that you're a bitch. So, how the hell did you wind up here? Do you live in the Marina?
Me: Uh, no.
BGG: Pacific Heights?
Me: Uh, no.
BGG: Ok, let me guess. You live in the Inner Sunset, but only because your friend Heather gets free rent from her parents.
Me: Uh, no. I think I need to get back to my group.
BGG: Ok, that's fine. I just think your teeth are perfect. And I'm obviously gay, but I love straight girls and always wind up dating them.
Me: Right. I need to go. Over there.
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Drinking a gin and tonic, talking with people next to the huge not occupied whatsoever bar, because hey, it's a bar, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO...
Bartender: Can you guys move? You're getting in the way of my business.
Me: Huh?
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Three stars for good ambiance and strong drinks. Two stars taken away for the bartender's odd requests and the BGG who not only was judgmental, creepily complimentary, and probably not even gay, but who also on his way out of the bar grabbed a certain part of my body that you just don't grab unless you can make me say more than "Huh?"