william c.
Yelp
This was my second time back here in a few years.
Staff : staff was iffy. Not overly welcoming but not completely rude. See "Food" section for more deets.
Rooms : Stayed in the cherry house. First off, i booked a queen bed online and was given a full. Checked in late so it was too late to complain. Room is just as many described. Smelly. Dirty looking carpet. Dingy. Hairs in the bedding. "Updated" with random framed things on the walls. Bathroom smelled like a locker room. Never have i ever experienced a sink that only the hot water worked. And the toilet! OH SKY GOD! It takes a whole minute to almost (like 87% ) complete a full flush, and then 10 minutes to fill back up. The lock to the bathroom was a hook hinge that went into a hole drilled into the back of the door. The only positive for the room is that that poor, little, ancient air conditioner did a great job.
Food : Continental breakfast is some bread and an old looking coffee dispenser. Didn't want to further temp fate with that. Did not get to eat at the restaurant because as we went to be seated, the host asked us to wait a second, and after 6 minutes, never came back. So we drove somewhere else to eat.
Nightclub : Hours listed says 8-2 but it was more like 915 when it opened. They got all the liquors, but mixers are limited and they don't have limes or other garnish. Price shock! 2 shots and 2 drinks were about $50. And it was not a cute resort cocktail, it's a plastic cup from a dive bar! I will say the dj was really friendly and played great music though. He also took requests.
Pool : the real reason why I came! I was so excited! But... it was so gross. SO GROSSSSS! Dead flies, spiders, bees, hair, mystery bugs and oil slicks floating everywhere you go. I was a second away from using the pool scoop to clean the pool myself, but then remembered, I was on a mini holiday and to just ignore the filth I was swimming in. There is also a bar at the pool... that didn't have ORANGE JUICE OR CHAMPAGNE! a gay resort with no mimosas! BLASPHEMY. Luckily I'm smart and brought my own mimosas from my room and the bar gave me ice for free. Dj played here as well, but at a volume for a football field. I had to keep my ears pointed away from the dj booth speakers cause it was way too loud. There are many chairs around the pool, but note that some have a cloth covering, I think to try and trick me. But I saw the state of the chairs underneath. PLEASE STAY HIDDEN! and two, I didn't see them change them out. So all the pool people sweat from the day before is ready for your pleasure today.
Overall, I will not be coming back again. For those of you just looking at the photos on the website, be warned that at one point, it looked like that. But imagine 40 years had passed since that photo you are drooling over was taken, and sprinkle in some very very VERY light cleaning, and that's what you get. One of the rooms on the gallery on the website was my room, but uh, maybe it's evil twin? Did an apocalypse happen? Is that the smell of my money ?
If you're looking for a little queer friendly getaway, be cautioned. Looks can be very deceiving on a website. But if you're like F it and want to have a much less than glamorous weekend adventure full of "is this really happening moments", book your room! And if after all this, you still have that tinge of adventure, I suggest you do not book directly from their website as many others have way better rates. And frankly, you should save as much money as you can if you stay here to help offset the huge amount of regret that follows.