Jed B.
Yelp
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.
Mosier, the last, greatest kept secret of the Pacific Northwest, and I, Myself, its humble resident, and man of modest requests -- both of which, miraculously, ripened to fruition amidst a global pandemic.
The Burrito Truck speaks for itself, and we'll address that in another review. Needless to say, a Burrito Truck opening in the middle of a pandemic is nothing shy of the eternal light of God, triumphed only in its majesty by the arrival of...
Randonee!
Look, fact is, since weed went legal, I can't call coffee shop barista's my favorite "drug-dealers" anymore --
Nonetheless, Madeline of Randonee holds the crown, my favorite caff-slanger and banter provider, turning the crank and revving the engine with the best of them to give me the quintessential, neighborhood coffee-shop experience I need five days a week.
And the pastries! I've seen the weirdo that makes them, and I gotta say, his earnest weirdness makes them all the more delicious -- local quality. I don't know what they're doing, probably lots of butter, which is fine with me; If you're paying money for a pastry in a coffee shop in a First World Country and find something to complain about, you should be dragged into an alley and shot in the head.
Anyway, suffice to say, in all modesty, I KNOW and LOVE good coffee -- I'd kill a dubiously-guilty man to secure a lifetime supply. Whatever mad-science or preternatural dealings with dark-forces these small-time, local roasters habituated better be maintained, for I am in love, and an addict, to boot.