Grant S.
Yelp
As I said in my review of Bar Open, "Its hard to be objective when reviewing pubs, because the whole experience one has there is a totally subjective one. For example, if you have a great night with your friends, beat everyone at pool and go home with a supermodel then you see the pub in a positive light, whereas if the pub is half empty and nobody talks to you and you leave after half an hour, you hate the place forever. But here goes..."
The Retreat Hotel is my favourite pub and I believe that it is actually the best pub in Melbourne - and Im speaking objectively here:
The major huge asset of the Retreat is that it simply caters for everyone, because there is just so much to do there and it is not overrun with one single type of person - for example you will never find a night when everyone is a goth or everyone is a footy head or everyone is a punk etc. What you will find most nights are a mixture of people ranging from funky Brunswick locals, suburbanites coming in from miles away, bucks nights, hens nights, live music fans, drag queens, old bar flies who like playing pool, drunks, people who dont go out much and people who live every weekend as if it is their last. Somehow or another, all of these people seem to be able to get along well enough with each other to make a great pub - and remember, the pub is not just the building - the pub is the people who go into the building and create the energy!
The front of the pub has a front bar section and some other little pockets with booths where people can sit and chat in an environment where is becomes very easy to talk with their neighbours.
The middle section has a pool table, an ATM, various pinball type machines and a large eating area which turns into a dance floor after the kitchen closes. The kitchen provides good meals at a reasonable price. The meals include chicken parmagiana and usual pub food as well as a few more exotic dishes. Sometimes there is live music and the pub is popular with the local music scene. After the bands finish, there is a dj and they usually play music that most people actually know!!!
But the best part of the pub is the enormous beer garden! I cant ever remember a better beer garden in a pub ANYWHERE - and Ive been to 45 countries!!! The beer garden has an enormous tree in the middle and just has a lovely leafy feel to it! It is great in the afternoon but retains its flavour way into the early hours of the morning! They run a bbq in the beer garden too, selling sausages and burgers and this continues after the actual kitchen has closed for the night.
Another great thing about the pub is the staff. The owner obviously knows what they are doing, because they simply havnt changed anything. Far too often, pub owners great greedy when their pub is doing well and start changing things and thus ruin their pub in the process. However the owner of the Retreat obviously understands that what has worked so far to make the pub a great pub is still working and thus there is no need to change a winning formula!
The bar staff are friendly despite having to work hard and the security guards are friendly and professional. They rarely kick people out and if they have to, they do it in a reasonable and professional manner.
The other thing I like is that while the pub is a popular nighttime venue, it is also a great place to just hang out in the afternoon - particularly the beer garden and the front tables!
Of course not every single night you spend at the Retreat is going to be the best night of your life, but all in all, it is a very good pub and if you give it a chance Im pretty sure you will have a good night there soon enough! If you havnt enjoyed yourself the first night you have been there then I will buy you a beer if Im there the second night you go!
