Jonathan B.
Yelp
This is easily the worst restaurant experience I've ever had. It all started when I asked my daughter if she wanted to go out to dinner with me and she said yes. What did she want to eat, I asked? Burgers. Okay, so I go to the internet and find Slash Run. According to the website, they're supposed to have great food (wonderful) and a rock and roll theme (neat). Perfect for a cool kid. I booked a reservation and thus began our descent. Here's how it went down:
My daughter and I arrive at 6:15 to find the door locked. There's a doorbell so we ring it, then ring again, then ring again before someone finally comes to the door to ask what we want.
What do we want? Like, is it a code? Am I supposed to say that "Jim sent us"? We are there to eat and I tell him so. Apparently this isn't the right answer, because he closes the door, locks it, and disappears. On the street behind us, a few kids on dirt bikes tear past, popping wheelies and yelling profanities.
My daughter and I look at each other. Maybe these people weren't prepared for the eventuality that someone might show up who wanted to eat? (Actually, more on that later). Anyway, the guy comes back and shows us to our table. Shortly after, a server comes to give us our menus and to inform us that we have one hour to eat before they take their table back. (Welcome to Slash Run. We hate you.)
Now, I have some dietary restrictions (apparently this is my body's reaction to getting older and it sucks). I can't do gluten or dairy. No problem, they have gluten-free buns on their menu and a burger without cheese is still a good burger. I had let them know about my restrictions when I made the reservation and just to be sure they had made a note (they hadn't) I told our server. "Oh, we're out of gluten-free buns for the night."
At 6:30, I think to myself? You're out of something for the night at 6:30? Okay, that's not going to ruin my night with my daughter.
I ask which of their burger/topping combos would be good without a bun or dairy and my server helpfully points out probably the two most dairy-intensive options on the menu. Now, I have no problem with someone giving me a good-natured hard time, but this isn't that. This is just carelessness. (That or maybe it's not clear that cheese is dairy?) Anyway, I order a less-dairy-centric burger and ask to hold the cheese. Out on the street, the guys with the wheelies and profanities are back for their encore performance.
As we wait for our food, my daughter and I play a game where we watch people come to the door, try to open it and realize it's locked. Will they give up and go away? Will the figure out that they have to ring the bell? If the ring the bell? How many times will they have to ring it? How long will it take before someone shows up? At 10, my daughter is too young for drinking games, but this would be a good one.
Anyway, 10-15 minutes later, our food arrives: My daughter's hamburger, our fries, and my cheeseburger. Yes. My cheeseburger. As in, a burger with cheese. Okay, that's not going to ruin my night with my daughter. I point out the fact that there is cheese on my burger and I'm promised that another burger will be out shortly for me, sans cheese. Great! Go ahead and eat, my daughter, don't let your food get cold.
It's a good thing my daughter ate her burger. A few minutes later, the table next to us orders. 10-15 minutes later, they get their food. A few more people come, I think they're food-delivery people. They try the door, they ring the bell, they wait (and wait), they get a bag of food, they leave.
30 minutes go by, the table next to us is finished eating. More food has come out, but not my burger. My daughter reports that she doesn't think this is the best burger in DC: "I don't think this is even the best burger on this block." I wouldn't know at this point, but I trust her. I've also eaten most of her fries. My burger is about to come out, I'm told.
45 minutes. We are now dangerously close to the time when they are supposed to be reclaiming their table from us. Do we get an extension because I haven't gotten my food yet? Maybe we can have a few extra minutes because there are still empty tables? Either way, my daughter is full and we're getting to the point where the crappy speaker blaring rock at us is losing it's charm. I ask for the check.
But my burger will be out soon, I'm told. Wouldn't I prefer to just wait?
Very few burger joints take the time to hand-raise their cows from birth when you order your burger. They don't take the time to rear the young calf and nurture it into a fully grown cow. Sure it takes a few years, but these days the farm-to-table concept demands such dedication.
All that being said, I clearly don't appreciate the farm-to-table movement, because I said I didn't want to wait for my burger. Nor did I want it wrapped up so that I could take it with me and eat it cold when I got home. We got our bill, I paid it, and we left.
0/5 stars. Would not recommend.