Lexi M.
Yelp
Portland is known for its vast selection of breweries and I believe has been a true pioneer for the evolution of the craft beer industry. Unfortunately, Stickmen is not a brewery I would include in this and quite frankly misses the mark in every single aspect.
Truly, there are so many successful breweries in the area that they could 'look up to' with excellent business models. How this business continues to fail time and time again is beyond me. Serve decent food, decent beer, have decent employees- doesn't seem too difficult, but Stickmen raises it to an octave.
Let's start with the food- it's gross. I can guarantee the pizza will either be completely over cooked or undercooked, every time. Almost anything you order will be inedible. Whoever in upper management thinks that they're creative for the specialty pizzas they feature each month needs to look into a community college intro to foods class. Or maybe a simple intro to business class, even. What keeps customers coming back? Consistency. You'll never receive this from Stickmen. It might be advisable to focus on producing quality food that tastes good. I don't think people expect much from a brewery in a pitiful strip mall; that's how low quality their food selection is. You'd be better off ordering from Dominos a few doors down. At least you know what you're getting into with them
There is absolutely nothing special about the beer. No creativity, no care, not one unique beer, absolutely nothing redeeming. Walk across the street to Fred Meyer and you'll find a much better selection than this sorry excuse for a microbrewery.
This brings me to the worst component of the place: the service. Hiring unqualified, lazy, incompetent people who like to sit at the front on their phones and color little kid coloring sheets is perturbing to any customer who will walk out with a $100+ bill for two disgusting pizzas and subpar beer. The very little service you *may* receive will be accompanied with a side of eye roll and attitude. Hearing servers gossip and play with their hair and nails as they stand around an absolutely filthy establishment shows how little these employees know. This location is disgusting. Crumbs covering the counters, dusty everywhere, the bathrooms are constantly in shambles. I've received beer glasses with lipstick marks more often than I have not.
Stickmen, your business is clearly failing which is completely deserving. A word to the (not) wise, if you were a knowledgeable business, you'd make improvements to an otherwise great area. The lackluster food, beer, and service will never establish a lasting business, deservingly so.
Y'all don't have enough gas in your brains combined to power an ants go-cart half way around a cheerio. Best of luck!
I'd highly recommend Ranch pizza up the road, and a 6 pack from Fred Meyers before you ever step foot in this establishment. Don't give this sorry excuse for a brewery a single dime or any of your time.